styled for motherhood

As a new mom, there have been many things I've learned quickly that I never thought I'd need to know before.  One of those was how to breastfeed, and the other was how to dress for breastfeeding.  When you're at home, you can definitely get away with wearing your nursing tank and yoga pants but you can only stay inside for so long.  Daniel and I made an effort to get out of the house every single day, but I was challenged with finding clothes that were convenient to nurse in especially if we were out in public.  

So I enlisted the help of my dearest friend, Conni!  She has an amazing blog over at Art in the Find, and she is a personal stylist.  Let me tell you this-having a friend that is a personal stylist definitely has its advantages.  Conni was able to find some pieces for me that were absolutely perfect for my nursing lifestyle, and the entire experience was too good not to share.  Here's how our endeavor went:

I first let Conni know what I was in need of.  And that, my friends, was button down shirts.  I've had an issue with button down shirts in the past because they are either too short, too long, too wide, or too small in the bust area.  I let Conni know that I was also really in need of a classic, yet high-quality chambray top.  

We decided on a budget which included her styling fee.  Knowing my budget going into this helped her know where to shop and what price point to look for in shirts.   This also let me rest assured that these tops were going to be affordable!

Conni went shopping for me!  I've quickly learned that online shopping is a mom's best friend, but buying clothes online can be tricky if you're not sure how they will fit.  Having Conni go shopping for me was a huge gift!  There are times that I enjoy shopping, but when I'm looking for something specific it never fails that I have the hardest time shopping and I feel like I wasted a ton of time.  Oh, and can I add that Conni is one amazing shopper!  She found some killer sales deals that helped me stay in my budget.  

We got together and tried on all of the goods!  This was my favorite part.  Conni came over, showed me everything she found, and I started trying on.  What I loved was how honest she was.  If something didn't fit right, she'd let me know.  If a top wasn't giving me that "yes" feeling, she would put it in the "no" pile.  And she was also honest on sizing.  The chambray top she picked was amazing, I loved!  But it was a bit tight in the shoulders, and she recommended going up a size and we agreed it was a piece that could be worn a bit looser.  

Conni then showed me how to style some of my individual pieces.  There's nothing worse than buying a top and only knowing one way to wear it.  She used Polyvore to show me a couple ways to style my button down, which will be so perfect when I go back to work.  

One button down, three ways by artinthefind featuring a gold statement necklace

I ended up getting three new tops total, and each of them are a bit different.  I'm absolutely in love with my new chambray and am slightly embarrassed by how often I've worn it.  But the most beneficial part of this whole process is that I feel stylish as a new mom while being able to comfortable nurse in each top.  Making style functional is essential to me.  I just can't stop raving over having a personal stylist!  If you're in San Diego and in need of some style help or just want an amazing stylist, definitely check Conni out!!

my dslr is thanking me

This past weekend I had a great opportunity to take a photography workshop to learn how to use my DSLR.  The workshop was with Erica at Acres of Hope Photography.  The workshop was held at this gorgeous ranch out in Alpine, which was quite a hike for us but so worth it.  Not only did I get a crash course, but I also had time to practice on my adorable little man and husband who came half way through.  The class was so small and intimate, and I just felt completely relaxed and at ease trying to learn something totally new to me.  

I thought I'd share some of the pictures I took, even though they're not perfect.  I'd love to be comfortable pulling out our camera instead of always using my phone to take pictures.  So I'm being vulnerable and sharing some images with you, even the imperfect ones.  Enjoy!  

Oh, and Erica is having another workshop in June and if you're local you don't want to miss it! 

On Sunday I headed up to my parents' house where we visited this charming and quaint winery that's just up the road from them.  The hot day called for a refreshing glass of sangria! 

it's a whole new learning curve

Motherhood. 

It's something that I've craved and longed for.  It's also something, I'm quickly learning, that will challenge me and break me.  And for good measure, I should probably forewarn you that this post might be all over the place, a bit random, and jumbled as there's so much I want to put to words that just haven't settled into place quite yet. 

Before I was pregnant, I dealt with a slew of issues…mainly anxiety.  I was a perfectionist at heart.  A planner.  A go-getter.  I thrived off of staying busy and having a hand in everything.  At first I thought these were my strengths, but then I quickly learned that these were my greatest weaknesses.  When things didn't go the way I had planned or expected, I was inconsolable.  It was as thought I was constantly trying to prove to the world that I was good enough.  The ability to just "go with the flow" was not a concept I had grasped nor wanted to.  

It's a beautiful thing when you see God reach down and make a transformation in your life.  For me, that was my therapist.  Oh bless her.  Things got so much better and I finally started digging into why I was striving so hard for everything, and never taking care of myself.  My anxiety and desire to have everything done just right slowly started to lift.  It was still there a bit, but just not as present.  When I was pregnant, my term "self-care" took on a whole new meaning as now I had someone who automatically was affected by my ability to take care of myself.  And through the process of trying to get pregnant I learned to let go and just trust that things would work out.  I thought I had it all figured out. 

And then I had a baby.  It's almost as if having a baby brings about every past issue or weakness you ever had and magnified it.  If you compared yourself before baby, oh just you wait…it's a whole new ball game now.  Not only are you thinking about how your baby is doing compared to another's, you compare your body, how much sleep you're getting, how often you exercise, what activities you're doing to get out of the house, if you're staying home instead of returning to work…and the list goes on.  

Having a baby took my anxiety to a different level and I started to question everything.  Was he getting enough to eat?  Was I creating a bad habit by letting him sleep on my during the day?  Are we doing enough tummy time?  Is he supposed to have baby acne for this long?  I think that it is the largest part of motherhood- this constant worry that infiltrates us.  And so I would read books to help me better understand why my baby was being so fussy all. the. time.  And I'd read how to get your baby to sleep better through the night.  And I'd read how much he should be sleeping during the day now that he's not a newborn.  And all of this reading would increase my anxiety because now I was comparing everything the book said to what Nathan did.  And if Nathan was "off" or not doing what I had read, oh dear-I would be so thrown off. 

And then God did something amazing.  He showed me that all of this worrying was adding nothing to my life.  And he surrounded me with amazing women who reminded me that it's alright to just let your baby do what they want to do.  It's a pruning process, where all of these weaknesses and struggles are slowly getting pruned so that I can be the mother and woman God has intended me to be.  I'm learning to put down the books and take their information with a grain of salt, because every baby is different.  And I'm learning that it's okay if he sleeps on me during the day because at least he is sleeping, and it forces me to prop my feet up and rest.  Anxiety and worry will always be there, but the biggest thing I'm learning is to not let it control every aspect of my life.  I'd much rather get down on the floor, look into Nathan's big blue eyes, and see him smile back at me.  I'd rather be involved and invested in his life than constantly worry if I'm doing enough.  

There's so much that I've learned, and I know that this is just the beginning.  And if I can encourage anyone who might deal with anxiety and worries like I do, it would be to trust that everything will work out!  We can't add anything by living in fear or worry.  We won't have everything together.  We will have days where ugly mom tears are strewn across our faces and we will have days where all we do is smile over how amazing our babies are.  Motherhood will take any weakness you ever had and magnify it.  But I'm also learning that motherhood will also show you that you're much stronger than you ever thought you were.