an anniversary celebration

I remember when we first got married and I thought that every anniversary was going to be this huge celebration- we would go on a trip somewhere, maybe get a hotel, have a nice fancy dinner,  you know- fancy.  Well, we were young and life settled in very quickly.  Those expectations vanished as the years went on, which isn't to say that I gave up all hope on a wonderful anniversary celebration.  We celebrated, but I remember always struggling with my expectations compared to real life situation.  

We're currently in a very busy season of our lives, and our anniversary snuck up on me.  And what caught me completely off guard were my expectations.  This year my expectations were realistic, and it was my amazing husband who turned our anniversary into something beautiful.  We tossed around the idea of staying in a hotel somewhere here in San Diego just for the night, but then I never looked into it.  The Mr. was on top of it and ended up booking us a room right at the cove in La Jolla.  Literally, we walked across the street and we were at the ocean.  And Saturday morning we woke up to this view from our balcony: 

We knew this was going to be our last anniversary just the two of us, so we tried to soak in as much "us" time as possible as well as some relaxation.  We took a long walk all around the cove, admiring how clear the sky was and how entertaining the sea lions were.  We grabbed coffee and breakfast.  We walked everywhere.  And it was beautiful.  

As I was sitting on the grass Saturday morning watching my husband admire the body surfers in the ocean, I thought to myself, "we have made it".  I was completely overcome with love and peace.  Over the last five years, we've figured out how to love one another unconditionally, with no grand expectations, leaving the other one hurting because they didn't meet our needs.  We've learned how to communicate better, how to listen inventively, and how to compromise.  The Mr. has made me love the ocean and I've made him love coffee dates.  We know what the other wants and what the other needs, and go our of our way to do that for them.  We've become selfless and humble.  We've become one.  And I think that is a beautiful thing.  In fact, I know that is a beautiful thing!  

5 years

I can't believe that I'm here, writing that today is our 5 year wedding anniversary.  Just looking back at our wedding pictures brings tears to me eyes, seeing the beauty behind how much love two people have for one another, and to see how much  God has blessed us in our marriage.  

It was 10 years ago today that this cute boy that I was mad about in high school asked me if we wanted to be "official" in front of the movie theaters.  

It was 10 years ago that he held my hand after junior prom, and I thought I could die.  I was complete in that moment. 

And it was 5 years ago today that he help my hand, as his wife, and walked me into one amazing marriage.  

The other night we were talking about our "5 year plan" and how crazy it was that so much has actually happened, and that those 5 years are up and another plan is ready to unfold.  

In the last 5 years we have...

fallen more and more in love with one another,

learned what it truly means to love and respect each other,

laughed so hard that we both were balls on the kitchen floor,

have prayed more for one another than we thought possible, 

had the hardest years in our jobs,

encouraged and supported one another through a grueling master's program,

bought a condo,

learned how to be patient and love the other even when it is difficult,

let go of expectations to become a better spouse,

found that each year of marriage just gets better and better, 

cried over disappointments and let downs, 

smiled more than we thought possible, 

and are now preparing for the biggest blessing yet, a baby boy.  

My dearest Daniel- you continue to show me what it means to truly love someone, to love unconditionally, to be kind, gentle, and patient.  You are the one person who always knows how to make me smile, who understands me sometimes better than I knew possible, and who will always be my better half.  "I love you" doesn't come close to express my love for you and I can't wait to see how God continues to bless us! 

real talk: words within marriage

Be good.

I remember my mom telling my brother, sister, and I this when I was little.

It was like a blanket to cover all offenses.

Be good...

I've always been good, done everything right, got the grades, took the job, followed directions, lived the plan.  And lately, my perception of what "good" is has been really transformed.

One of this summer's blessings has been the development of She Reads Truth.  If you haven't jumped on the band wagon yet, I urge you to stop reading-like now-and head over HERE!

She Reads Truth has helped me actually do a devotional and stick with it, and I love waking up each morning excited to read my bible.  It takes the guesswork out of where to begin, and it has really helped me to open my mind to what God is trying to teach me.

Our current devotion is through the book of Proverbs.  To some it seems like a ton of fragmented commandments of how to "be good".  It felt a lot like that to me up until now.  Now that I'm actually reading it in its entirety, letting the chapters add onto one another, I'm opening myself up to what I need to really focus on and change.

"The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence." 

-Prov. 10:11

"Like a gold rind in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion." 

-Prov. 11:22

"Whoever guards his mouth preserves life; he who opens wide his comes comes to ruin."

-Prov. 13:3

Can you tell what God is trying to teach me, yet???

I always thought that I was good with my words, and then I got married.  Being married has really shown me who I am and where my faults lie.  My husband's main love language is words of affirmation.

(Side note: I'm being brave, honest, and open here.  I'm letting you in on one of my weaknesses, knowing that authenticity here on the blog is something that matters to me greatly.)

I learned this quickly and tried to add to my speech and encourage my husband, tell him why I appreciate it, give him praise, and be specific.  I thought I had it down, just add something onto what I already did.  What I've realized through the book of Proverbs is that I don't guard my words with my husband at times, and take it for granted.  I know that I'm human and hopefully am not the only one who realizes this as well.  I took what I was saying to my husband and tried to add onto it by telling him when he did something nice, or why I appreciated him.  The speech that had a tendency to cut cold would still sneak up-counter acting ways I was trying to affirm him.

As I was talking to my husband about this, who was so loving and caring about my newfound knowledge, I realized that God was telling me I need to change the way that I speak to my husband, not just add to it.  True change is looking at how I talk to him, identifying where I'm not guarding my speech and letting emotions take over, and changing that!  Not adding words of kindness onto angry or hurtful words, trying to use it as a bandaid.  But truly loving my husband through my words.

2 whole days

Picture this.

The Mr. and I had two whole days off together!  Friday and Saturday. 

You'd think that we would live it up, maybe go out of town, a little overnighter somewhere.

I remember looking at one another Friday morning, both sipping a nice big cup of coffee, bags under our eyes from the early morning work schedule my husband has now acquired, and even though we didn't say anything our eyes were both telling each other "let's just relax". Let's not go anywhere, do anything, make any set plans.  

No, we didn't sit around in our jammies all day...as tempting as it was.  We made plans, we soaked up the sun, but more importantly we took two days to spend with each other and friends, reconnecting and living for each moment instead of what we would do next. 

On Friday we had friends beach camping up in Carlsbad.  So we packed our bags, grabbed the sunscreen, made lunch and were off on our way.  As we walked around the campgrounds we kept wondering why we haven't done this before?!?  Each year we talk about beach camping but never make reservations in time.  After visiting our friends I made a reminder in my phone for January to make reservations for next summer!  That's how bad I want to go beach camping now.  The weather was perfect, the water was warm once you waded in it for a while, and I even went into the water. 

That night I did have plans away from the Mr., and it was hard leaving him for a couple of hours.  

My work friends, who are amazing by the way, had planned a fun night at a Ceramic Cafe.

We brought snacks and wine, they provided cheese and crackers, and we each created a beautiful piece of art. 

 On Saturday we lounged around the house, did some responsible adult things...like pay our vehicle registration, clean the bathrooms....but then we decided to just watch a movie.  Right in the middle of the day.
And it was bliss.
Later that day we headed downtown for a Padres game.
And we had the best company in tow.  Meg and her husband drove all the way down to join us, and it was a magical night!
Although the Padres lost, I mean really lost, we still enjoyed our conversations and company, laughing at one another, connecting beyond the blog, and hearing our husbands talking non stop was probably the biggest joy of all.

We ended the two day adventure with one another trying out a new treat from Trader Joe's.  

I'd like to say I want to marry this one, but it doesn't quite get a perfect 10.  

There's only 100 calories for half a cup, but it definitely tastes like yogurt.

  Thinking it would be a good alternative for ice cream failed miserable.  But it gets the job done!

i wouldn't be the same

Today is a very special day.

It's the Mr.'s birthday!!!!

Here's a special birthday message:

Happy birthday to the most amazing man ever.  My life wouldn't be the same without you.  You have seen my greatest times and my worst, and you love me all the same.  When others saw my baggage you saw what makes me whole.  You're the guy that still gives me butterflies when you walk in the room, the one that can make me laugh no matter what mood I'm in, who can always find my ticklish spot on my feet, who puts family first and loves without needing anything in return.  You have taught me what it means to love unconditionally, to treat others better than you would yourself, and to love me for me.   You are my rock and I count every day as a blessing that I've had with you.  I love that our marriage still feels new and that God has blessed us so much.  

I love you with my whole heart and wish you the happiest birthday! 

Love, 

"Gorgeous"

dear handsome

I try not to get all mushy-gushy too often but for Valentine's Day I'm not holding back.  The Mr. and I have been married for three years now and it has truly been the best three years of my life.  As we spent our time together this weekend I realized how truly lucky I am, I've obviously known this, but the Mr. and I have been making our marriage more intentional lately.  We have been trying to put the other first, be each other's personal cheerleader, and devote our time to one another. 

I've always been a hopeless romantic at heart and had grand dreams of amazing Valentine's Day activities.  I do have to say that the Mr. did an over the top Valentine's Day one year with a candlelit picnic on the beach and it has always been one of my favorite dates.  That was eight years ago, and it hasn't happened since but we try to recreate a little piece of it each year.  For the picnic he special ordered a heart shaped pizza, so every year we make a heart shaped pizza together.  We were talking about Valentine's Day this past weekend and I was saying that it just doesn't feel that important any more, mainly because I just haven't had time to do anything cute or special or plan up amazing things.  Then the Mr. said, "It doesn't have to be something huge because we celebrate our love the other 364 days of the year".  I love him.  Here's a little love letter to the Mr:

Dear Handsome,

I love you more than words can express.

I love that I knew the moment we started leading our junior high youth group together that you were the man I was going to marry.

I love that you always said I was not a girl you date, I was a girl you marry.

I love that when we were cleaning out the garage this summer I found my journal from high school asking God to let you be my future husband.  

I love how you call me "crazy" and try to find the OFF switch to your robot.

I love how you always seem to know the perfect words to say to calm me down and remind me that life is too short to stress it away.

I love how giving you are.  

I love that family comes first to you, and that you love me more than I'll ever know.

I love that God has been the center of our relationship and marriage.

I love the way you look playing with your nieces and nephew, you are the best uncle and will be the most amazing father one day.

I love how you love my family unconditionally.  

I love the way you take at least five minutes to come up with a witty Facebook status update just to get a good laugh.

I love that you are addicted to Cheez-Its and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups but still eat my "rabbit food".

I love that you love me just the way I am and that you know me better than myself.  

I love your desire for happiness and that you always strive to make me happy.

I love your love of nature, bike rides, and hikes.  

I love that you call me "gorgeous" and never Jamie.

I love that you tease me like crazy just to get me all riled up.  

I love the way you make a mad dash through the house five minutes before I get home to make the house look clean.

I love how easy it is to be around you and how comfortable you make everyone in your midst.  

I love the way you lisp at night with your new mouth guard.

I love that your socks are all over the house, it reminds me that our house is lived in and memories of you are everywhere.

I love that you are the most patient, kind, and considerate man I have every know.

I love that you love me for me, and show me everyday how to love unconditionally.

I love you..

Love,

"Gorgeous"

PS: All of these pictures are from a gorgeous hike we went on Saturday morning, that was how we broke in the new day off together :)