a song, a smile, and a baby

Happy Tuesday!  Life has been a roller coaster lately, filled with ups and downs and crazy scenes that I wasn't quite prepared for.  Needless to say, I've been quite the mess.  So I'm trying as hard as I can to focus on the happiness and laughter-filled moments that are splattered across this beautiful life we live.  

The other day while driving (which I do a ton of), this song came on the radio and I immediately was finger-tap-dancing on the steering wheel, bobbing my head back and forth, and wishing I was in my kitchen dancing along.  When I played it for Daniel, I jumped up and started dancing..it's just catchy and leaves you with those warm fuzzy feelings inside.  So I'm sharing this lil' diddy with you today.  I dare you to listen to without wanting to sing or dance along....

There needs to be a warning sign for working mamas on their phone when they go to randomly look at photos.  It should either read, "TEARS AHEAD" or come with a box of tissue.  When you want to remind yourself of that sweet lil' nugget waiting for you at home, don't look back at how tiny they used to be, or at that adorable photo of him smiling back at you for the first time.  While I did exactly what I'm telling you not to do, I found this gem, which immediately brought the tear train!  Why?!?!  How did I get so lucky to have such a sweet baby with the biggest smile ever?  I mean, you're having a rough day just look at this kid! 

And here are some other totally random, smile-inducing photos that brightened my day...

the struggle is real

Things have been a bit quiet over here, but they haven't been quiet in the real world.  Not.  One.  Bit.  Summer is winding down, which means it is back to work for me.  And all of a sudden, I realized that there's quite a bit that this mama is struggling with.

So if I you happened to see a crazy woman yesterday singing "BINGO" in the car while simultaneously crying ugly tears, there's a very small chance that was me.  Nathan has been waking up more than usual during the middle of the night, leaving me pretty tired.  Yesterday I was just plain ol' exhausted.  Side note: why can't every coffee shop be drive-thru???  Although, more coffee doesn't fix the solution.

After waking up, getting myself and Nathan ready to church, and successfully making it out the door early, all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed.  Yes pastor, I hear you, I feel you, but I also am simultaneously wishing that I was hearing you while snuggled up in my sheets and pillows.  From church there was no rest.  Nathan decided to show me this amazing trick and spit up in my hand.  You read that right.  Then he spit up all over my shirt.  Oh but wait...later that day I instantly knew what that warm sensation was that covered my shirt as I drew a bath with my naked baby.  I don't know what I was thinking getting him undressed before having a bath ready for him.  Driving home he decided he would protest sleeping even more since he didn't get in his usual long, afternoon nap.  Hence, the crazy lady singing every single nursery rhyme in the car in order to soothe her crying baby.

And in that moment all I wanted was some patience, for the day to be over, for bedtime to come and go, and to curl up in my bed and hit "reset".  So the tears started rolling.  Because I'm exhausted.  Because I go back to work in two weeks and I'm feeling so many emotions all at once.  Because I feel alone.  Because I realized I still had to make dinner and had no idea what to throw together.  And because I had to unpack a million things accumulating in the car.

So I'm a mess.  And the struggle is real.  And all I wanted in that moment was some fro yo, and then all I could think about was the fact that I didn't work out nearly as much as I wanted to this past week and how much body image is struggling right now too.

That night, bedtime finally came.  And as I nursed Nathan and looked down at his blue eyes that seem to see everything so purely, my chest tightened and ached.  It is surreal how much love one is able to have for another.  And the love that I have for this little boy is unexplainable.  Heck, I'm even crying right now!  That love will help me wake up and face another day with bodily fluids everywhere and it will help me say good-bye as I leave for work because at the end of the day I know I have a smile to great me when I return.

homemade baby food

I've dreamed of the day that I would become a mom, and then I dreamt a little more about feeding my baby foods that nourished their bodies, but were tasty and satisfying, and also homemade.  I'm not quite sure when the "homemade bug" bit me because it wasn't exactly how I was raised.  But somewhere along the way I realized that my preconceived notion of "homemade" equalling "harder" was dismissed and I jumped head in on creating plenty in my own kitchen with my own two hands for us.  And that was before the baby came.  As I started learning how to cook I soon became pretty passionate about eating real food.  I'm talking about fruits and veggies that are so fresh you can still see the dirt and little friends that made it along their trek from the farm our CSA box comes from.  

So it made sense that when I had a baby, I would be passionate about feeding him real food.  

Now, I've quickly learned that everyone has their own way of doing things and some will quickly give you their own opinions.  I'm starting to figure out what it is that we want for our family and how to raise our son, but that doesn't mean it is the way.  So when I started researching what we would first feed Nathan, I came across Baby Led Weaning.  The idea seems so wonderful, but for my own peace of mind I wanted to start with purees and soft foods that didn't need to be cooked.  I started reading Super Nutrition for Babies and quickly realized that there were some things I would take and others that I just wasn't quite ready for (read: I'm not ready to feed him raw egg yolks or bone marrow).  Then there was the controversy over whether or not to give your baby rice cereal, and when I first fed Nathan some I immediately felt like I was a bad mom because it doesn't have much nutritional value and is hard for their bodies to digest.  Holy moly, it felt like everywhere I turned I was going to do something wrong!  

The good news is that I'm learning to let go of my people-pleasing tendencies (and this is going to be a forever-long process) and focus on what I want to stick to my guns on when it comes to feeding Nathan.  Organic fruits and veggies, pureed to start with, and providing a nice variety was where I landed!  

So our first foods were banana and avocado.  Naturally he is my child because he is crazy for bananas, and he is also obviously a Lafuze for his love of avocado.  These two foods are so easy to mash up and feed!  Plus, they are both very easy for our on-the-go lifestyle.  I love sharing my banana with Nathan after our park workouts in the morning, and he is able to now eat chunks of it instead of me mashing it up.  The same goes for avocado.  When we go out to eat, I will just order an extra side and give that to him.  He's been eating them for a good two months now, so I started giving him chunks as well and he gums them like a champ!

Purees have been super easy to make with our Beaba baby food maker, which steams and purees it for you!  Sweet potatoes were Nathan's first puree, and from there we went to carrots.  Now he has tried those along with parsnips, zucchini, pears, and squash.  After I steam the veggies, I add in a little bit of ghee so that he has fat to absorb the nutrients before blending it all up.  Someone asked me the other day what he likes and doesn't like.  It's kind of a silly question for this kid because he basically loves everything you give him!  His reactions when eating are hilarious, but he will always open wide up for the next bite.  

Making his baby food doesn't take much time at all, and I only do it once or twice a week.  I've figured out a pretty great system that work well for us, even when on the go.  After pureeing it, I pour it into these perfect ice cube trays I found on Amazon.  They make perfect squares that are exactly one ounce, and are super easy to pop out once frozen.  After the food is frozen, I then put the squared into large freezer bags with a label and date.  Then in the morning I just pull out 1-2 cubes of whatever he will eat that afternoon and put them in the fridge to defrost.  I don't heat up his food, unless it is still frozen, which makes him super easy to feed when we are out and about.  

My goal is to have him off of purees by 9 months.  Purees are wonderful at getting him used to the taste of different foods but I want him working on his pincer grasp and able to eat what we are eating so that I'm not always preparing a separate meal for him.  Making our meals accessible for him is my goal.  I also hope to not have a picky eater, and would love for him to have a taste of a wide variety of fruits and veggies while I can control it.  I'm sure the time will come (probably sooner than I hope) when he turns away from food, throws it on the floor, and will only eat PB&J.  But until then I'm satisfied knowing that the foods we feed him are healthy, organic, and easy for his body to digest and get nutrients from!  

Nathan is starting to eat some foods raw or steamed, which is fantastic!  We just started sharing blueberries and peaches with him, and he also began eating cut carrots steamed, so we are on  a roll!  

I'm pretty sure that his two solid meals are his favorite time of the day! 

nathan james: 7 months

This month caught me off guard, and it wasn't until the day of that I realized Nathan was officially 7 months old.  6 months was good, we weren't anywhere near a year and I felt as though it was okay if he wasn't doing certain things because he was "only 6 months".  Well that time has come and gone, and I have to put on my big girl pants and accept that we are now closer to the one year mark than when he was born.  Nathan continues to be the happiest baby, and I daily have to thank God for his perfect personality and how amazing life is with him!  

Growing// Nathan is somewhere in-between 21-22 pounds, and my arms can fell it.  The Ergo carrier was my best friend while on vacation, and whenever I didn't use it and held him in my arms they quickly became tired.  He is starting to move!  He is scooting backwards on his belly, and also can rotate and roll in order to get what he wants.  This past week he rocked up onto all fours, but no crawling has happened yet...which I'm grateful for so I can prolong baby proofing for a bit.  He absolutely loves to bounce and stand up on our laps.  

Eating & Sleeping// We've reached the stage that I'm thoroughly enjoying, solids!  Now he is able to eat a greater variety of solids (that I puree) and we have been slowly pureeing less.  Blueberries and peaches can be eaten raw and in small chunks, and he also ate steamed carrots like a champ.  Really, anything you put in his mouth he will eat!  He is still breastfeeding about 5 times a day, with two meals of solids, and wakes up once in the middle of the night to feed.  I don't mind this feeding, and know that he will eventually drop it.  His sleeping is slowly getting better, and each night he sleeps about 11-12 hours with one wake-up.  Now, if we could just get him to fall asleep a bit faster that would be nice.  He just doesn't want to miss everything that's going on!!

Loving// There really aren't a whole lot of things that Nathan doesn't love.  When he cries you know something is wrong, either he is overtired or over hungry.  He is our social butterfly and loves whenever someone talks to him.  He also loves when others dance, so I will set him in his bouncer and have a dance party for a party of one to crack him up.  Being outdoors is a favorite of his, and as soon as a nice breeze hits his face he gets the biggest smile.  "Old McDonald" continues to be his favorite song, but "Itsy Bitsy Spider" is a close second.  Bath time is a blast now that he is sitting in the tub all on his own.  He plays with his rubber duckies, but this involved making big splashes in the water to watch them disappear and float up in different places. 

Loathing// As of late, we aren't huge fans of getting our face cleaned up after a meal or when the food is taking a while to get into our mouths.  He's also starting to protest a bit when it's time to get in the carseat which is very new.  Other than that, he is a happy camper!! (Although, we are taking him beach camping for the first time this weekend so we will see if he truly is a happy camper!)