learning to say "yes"

There's a lot of talk lately on learning to say "no", especially for moms with too many things on their plate.  We sometimes think that we can conquer the world with baby in tow, and soon realize that we are drowning in over commitment.  Believe me, I've been there many times…but way before Nathan was born.  As a new mama, I've learned what needed to leave my life so that I had more time to focus on this new stage as a mother and a wife.  Balance is sometimes challenging, and I have that personality that wants to have my hand in everything.  

So today's topic of learning to say "yes" seems a bit contradictory, but it is a lesson that is a challenge for me and I just had to share.  

The other day the husband wanted to go to the beach, and our time frame was very limited because of his work schedule that day.  And every piece inside of me wanted to say no.  No, we didn't have enough time.  No, I didn't want to find the beach chairs.  No, we can't take Nathan into the water yet.  It was as if every time I said no I claimed more and more control over the situation and our relationship.  I knew this meant so much to the husband so I took a deep breath and said yes, sure, why not.  And let me just say, this was much harder than I expected it to be.  Our trip to the beach was absolutely perfect. It was just the right amount of time we needed to get out of the house and be where our souls were happy.  

When I look back on it, I quickly see one of my weakness.  And that is my desire for control.  By saying "no" I can keep my hold on that control.  Sometimes saying no is just what the doctor ordered so that you learn to rest and live doing less.  But in this season of life, I need to learn to say yes more often.  Not only to my husband, but to other situations as well.  When Nathan falls asleep on me and every piece inside of me is itching to put him down so that I can go clean the neglected bathroom, I'm learning to say yes to staying right where I am-knowing that neglected bathroom will still be there.  

Here are some other ways I'm saying yes:

-yes to spending more time in the word

-yes to taking the mornings slow and having a cup of coffee with the husband

-yes to cooking a super simple dinner compared to that recipe I've been dying to make in a while

-yes to turning off the phone to spend some quality time with my family

-yes to striking up a conversation with someone who looks like they need a friend that day

So here I am, slowly releasing the attached cords of control, taking a big breath in, and saying "yes". 

meals for new moms

There are two things that I love big time.

Making great food.

Eating great food. 

When we had Nathan we were tremendously blessed by our close friends who put together a Meal Train through MealBaby.  This is a super convenient website where people can sign up to bring you a meal.  And let me tell you, it was better than I could've ever imagined.  I love to cook, but quickly realized I had my hands full with a little one.  And it never failed that dinnertime was the hardest to step away from Nathan, so it was such a treat to just pop something into the oven and chow down.  This helps both mom and dad stay nourished, too, ensuring they are getting enough to eat.  

Because I can't rave enough about how amazing it is being on the receiving end, I make it my goal now to take new moms a meal.  Plus, babies are popping up left and right currently in our lives.  I love setting Nathan up in his bouncer and talking to him about the ingredients I'm putting in (I'm secretly training him now how to cook me breakfast in bed one day).  I love packing everything up into my bright red basket.  I love writing a little love note for the sweet new mama, along with any directions she needs.  And I love giving her dessert…especially ice cream and fresh baked cookies because that really hits the spot after having a baby!  

Here are five recipes that are fantastic to make for new moms: 

Mushroom Kale Lasagna Rolls from Skinnytaste 

These are a great meatless option, and they freeze beautifully.  I'm not joking you, I have three sets of these in my freezer for new mamas I'm seeing over the next two weeks.  

Tamale Pie from Peas And Thank You

This is great when you don't want to give someone pasta and want to mix it up a bit.  I use ground turkey in mine. 

Chicken Enchilada Bake

The recipe I use is from Bread & Wine, but I'm sure you can find similar ones easily.  We are a bit obsessed with mexican food over here so this is something I always double.  One for them and one for us! 

White Bean and Turkey Chili from Cooking Light 

Chili just warms your belly amazingly!  Just be careful with how spicy you make it for the breastfeeding mamas. 

Roasted Tomato Tortilla Soup

Soups are nice and easy to bring to other mamas, and this one is perfect when you also bring over chips and an avocado!  My family personally loves this recipe, so I love making it for others. 

I like to buy foil pans and Ziploc tupperware to serve the meal in.  This keeps the new mama from worrying about returning it to you, or keeping track of whose is what.  Bags of plain lettuce are so helpful.  Then I include all of the toppings in a ziploc bag.  Cookies can keep from being crushed when placed inside of a mason jar, and it looks pretty cute as well.  

Can't wait to go bless some new mamas and visit their sweet babes these next few weeks! 

international day of happiness

Did you know that today is the first International Day of Happiness??  When I first found out Pharrell's song "Happy" was on repeat in my head, because who can't listen to that song and not be happy?!  

Happiness is something that I love, it is simple yet powerful.  Not only is it important for us to be happy, but to spread that happiness to others.  As I've aged a bit I've quickly seen the injustice in the world, the bitterness that people hold onto, the anger they possess.  And I'll admit that there are times when it has been easier to be angry or hold onto negative thoughts.  So how do we cultivate positivity in our lives so that we not only feel joyful and complete, but spread that sweet goodness onto others?  For me, it is focusing on gratitude.  Thankfulness just oozes into a spirit of happiness.  There are days sometimes when it is hard to get out of that "funk" and only see the negatives, but challenging ourselves to start listing things that you are thankful for can instantly change your mood. 

And because I deeply want to be transparent over here, I'll share that the past two weeks have really gotten the best of me.  It has been much easier to hang on to negative feelings, and then take them out on my poor husband.  So I have been trying to tell him "thank you" more often, even over the little things like putting a dish in the sink for me.  And then this morning I woke up with coffee already set up in the coffee maker so all I had to do was press "Start".  This. Made. My. Day.  It was something so small, but to me it meant so much.  And my day was set into motion with an attitude of gratitude and happiness.  

So if you're feeling like happiness is just hard these days I challenge you to start listing things that you're thankful for, even itty bitty things like the sun shining bright outside or the fact that you got a good night sleep.  And then pass that sweet goodness onto others.  Smile at someone you pass.  Hold the door open for a stranger.  Spread happiness. 

And I thought I'd share some pictures of the two people that make me so happy! 

working out with a newborn

Working out is something that brings me great joy and peace in my life, it's probably all of those endorphins working their magic!  Not being able to work out can sometimes make me feel stifled, stiff, and stuck. After having Nathan I was worried that I'd feel that way knowing that I'd need to take a break.  Fortunately, I enjoyed the break that my body needed (because your body definitely needs a break after childbirth) but I was also very eager to slowly get started.  

Now please know that I'm not a doctor, and I strongly advise you to wait until you get the all clear from your doctor before getting back into the workout rhythm.   

I've learned some big and little things along the way in terms of how to workout now, and what to remember about my body when working out and I thought that I'd pass it along to you!  (Also, I didn't start running again until 8 weeks postpartum, and started light strength training at 6 weeks.)

**Listen to your body.  Even if your doctor says that you can start adding in exercise, you ultimately know what your body can and cannot handle. 

**Listen to your doctor.  Don't push yourself and think you are super woman.  Remember, you just had a baby.  And you carried that beautiful being inside of you for 40 weeks.  Your body has done a lot in the last 10 months, and even if you did workout during your pregnancy, it still isn't going to move the same way it did before.  I tried to run when my doctor told me to stick with the elliptical, and it was not a pleasant experience.  I didn't injure myself, but I did lose a ton of motivation because it felt so off and it was a big struggle the entire time.  

**Start by taking nice long walks.  This was my favorite part during the first month with Nathan.  I was so excited he liked his stroller, so the Mr. and I got into a good routine of going for long walks in the mornings.  Sometimes we'd take a basketball with us to the park and shoot hoops while Nathan slept in the stroller.  Other times, we would walk to the bank to get errands done or to Panera to grab breakfast. Having something fun to do on your walk makes it much more enjoyable.  Plus, you have great company with you as well! 

**Exercise with your baby!  Once I got the clear to run and felt comfortable doing it, I started taking Nathan on jogs with me.  He either falls asleep or just stares up at me as I smile bigger than ever at him.  (Cars that drive by must think I'm a bit loopy.)  

**Get in some HIIT while they nap.  High Intensity Interval Training is every mother's dream for working out because they are short yet super effective.  They leave you breathless at the end if you stick with the workout, and give your muscles that jolt they needed.  My favorite place to find a good quick workout is over at the Blonde Ponytail, she's a new mom herself and has great exercises!  Nathan is a cat napper and it never fails that even if I do a 15 minute workout at home, he wakes up within the last 5 minutes.  Instead of getting frustrated, I just talk to him while I do a push up or a squat to keep him entertained. 

**Treat yourself by taking a class.  Have your husband watch your baby or utilize the daycare if your gym has one, and go take a class!  I've noticed that when Daniel watches Nathan so that I can go to our small gym in our complex I'm much more focused on my workout which helps a ton.  This week I'm taking a yoga class, and I can't tell you how excited I am!  This is not only exercise but also a form of self-care, which every new mama needs. 

**Thank your body for everything it is doing!  Sure, you can get discouraged that you're not working out as much, doing as many reps, or lifting as much weight as you did before.  Running, mentally, has been challenging for me.  But after each run, whether I had to walk or not, I have to thank my body that it got me through that workout.  Our bodies are amazing!  They created life, and they are providing for your baby if you're breastfeeding.  Give yourself grace and except this new body that you're in.  

Having a little mantra is always helpful when you have those days that you wanted to workout but you didn't or it wasn't as long as you had hoped it would be.  Mine is "I workout to be strong not skinny".  This always helps me reframe my mind, because being strong and healthy is what makes me the best mama I can be! 

styled for motherhood

As a new mom, there have been many things I've learned quickly that I never thought I'd need to know before.  One of those was how to breastfeed, and the other was how to dress for breastfeeding.  When you're at home, you can definitely get away with wearing your nursing tank and yoga pants but you can only stay inside for so long.  Daniel and I made an effort to get out of the house every single day, but I was challenged with finding clothes that were convenient to nurse in especially if we were out in public.  

So I enlisted the help of my dearest friend, Conni!  She has an amazing blog over at Art in the Find, and she is a personal stylist.  Let me tell you this-having a friend that is a personal stylist definitely has its advantages.  Conni was able to find some pieces for me that were absolutely perfect for my nursing lifestyle, and the entire experience was too good not to share.  Here's how our endeavor went:

I first let Conni know what I was in need of.  And that, my friends, was button down shirts.  I've had an issue with button down shirts in the past because they are either too short, too long, too wide, or too small in the bust area.  I let Conni know that I was also really in need of a classic, yet high-quality chambray top.  

We decided on a budget which included her styling fee.  Knowing my budget going into this helped her know where to shop and what price point to look for in shirts.   This also let me rest assured that these tops were going to be affordable!

Conni went shopping for me!  I've quickly learned that online shopping is a mom's best friend, but buying clothes online can be tricky if you're not sure how they will fit.  Having Conni go shopping for me was a huge gift!  There are times that I enjoy shopping, but when I'm looking for something specific it never fails that I have the hardest time shopping and I feel like I wasted a ton of time.  Oh, and can I add that Conni is one amazing shopper!  She found some killer sales deals that helped me stay in my budget.  

We got together and tried on all of the goods!  This was my favorite part.  Conni came over, showed me everything she found, and I started trying on.  What I loved was how honest she was.  If something didn't fit right, she'd let me know.  If a top wasn't giving me that "yes" feeling, she would put it in the "no" pile.  And she was also honest on sizing.  The chambray top she picked was amazing, I loved!  But it was a bit tight in the shoulders, and she recommended going up a size and we agreed it was a piece that could be worn a bit looser.  

Conni then showed me how to style some of my individual pieces.  There's nothing worse than buying a top and only knowing one way to wear it.  She used Polyvore to show me a couple ways to style my button down, which will be so perfect when I go back to work.  

One button down, three ways by artinthefind featuring a gold statement necklace

I ended up getting three new tops total, and each of them are a bit different.  I'm absolutely in love with my new chambray and am slightly embarrassed by how often I've worn it.  But the most beneficial part of this whole process is that I feel stylish as a new mom while being able to comfortable nurse in each top.  Making style functional is essential to me.  I just can't stop raving over having a personal stylist!  If you're in San Diego and in need of some style help or just want an amazing stylist, definitely check Conni out!!

my dslr is thanking me

This past weekend I had a great opportunity to take a photography workshop to learn how to use my DSLR.  The workshop was with Erica at Acres of Hope Photography.  The workshop was held at this gorgeous ranch out in Alpine, which was quite a hike for us but so worth it.  Not only did I get a crash course, but I also had time to practice on my adorable little man and husband who came half way through.  The class was so small and intimate, and I just felt completely relaxed and at ease trying to learn something totally new to me.  

I thought I'd share some of the pictures I took, even though they're not perfect.  I'd love to be comfortable pulling out our camera instead of always using my phone to take pictures.  So I'm being vulnerable and sharing some images with you, even the imperfect ones.  Enjoy!  

Oh, and Erica is having another workshop in June and if you're local you don't want to miss it! 

On Sunday I headed up to my parents' house where we visited this charming and quaint winery that's just up the road from them.  The hot day called for a refreshing glass of sangria! 

it's a whole new learning curve

Motherhood. 

It's something that I've craved and longed for.  It's also something, I'm quickly learning, that will challenge me and break me.  And for good measure, I should probably forewarn you that this post might be all over the place, a bit random, and jumbled as there's so much I want to put to words that just haven't settled into place quite yet. 

Before I was pregnant, I dealt with a slew of issues…mainly anxiety.  I was a perfectionist at heart.  A planner.  A go-getter.  I thrived off of staying busy and having a hand in everything.  At first I thought these were my strengths, but then I quickly learned that these were my greatest weaknesses.  When things didn't go the way I had planned or expected, I was inconsolable.  It was as thought I was constantly trying to prove to the world that I was good enough.  The ability to just "go with the flow" was not a concept I had grasped nor wanted to.  

It's a beautiful thing when you see God reach down and make a transformation in your life.  For me, that was my therapist.  Oh bless her.  Things got so much better and I finally started digging into why I was striving so hard for everything, and never taking care of myself.  My anxiety and desire to have everything done just right slowly started to lift.  It was still there a bit, but just not as present.  When I was pregnant, my term "self-care" took on a whole new meaning as now I had someone who automatically was affected by my ability to take care of myself.  And through the process of trying to get pregnant I learned to let go and just trust that things would work out.  I thought I had it all figured out. 

And then I had a baby.  It's almost as if having a baby brings about every past issue or weakness you ever had and magnified it.  If you compared yourself before baby, oh just you wait…it's a whole new ball game now.  Not only are you thinking about how your baby is doing compared to another's, you compare your body, how much sleep you're getting, how often you exercise, what activities you're doing to get out of the house, if you're staying home instead of returning to work…and the list goes on.  

Having a baby took my anxiety to a different level and I started to question everything.  Was he getting enough to eat?  Was I creating a bad habit by letting him sleep on my during the day?  Are we doing enough tummy time?  Is he supposed to have baby acne for this long?  I think that it is the largest part of motherhood- this constant worry that infiltrates us.  And so I would read books to help me better understand why my baby was being so fussy all. the. time.  And I'd read how to get your baby to sleep better through the night.  And I'd read how much he should be sleeping during the day now that he's not a newborn.  And all of this reading would increase my anxiety because now I was comparing everything the book said to what Nathan did.  And if Nathan was "off" or not doing what I had read, oh dear-I would be so thrown off. 

And then God did something amazing.  He showed me that all of this worrying was adding nothing to my life.  And he surrounded me with amazing women who reminded me that it's alright to just let your baby do what they want to do.  It's a pruning process, where all of these weaknesses and struggles are slowly getting pruned so that I can be the mother and woman God has intended me to be.  I'm learning to put down the books and take their information with a grain of salt, because every baby is different.  And I'm learning that it's okay if he sleeps on me during the day because at least he is sleeping, and it forces me to prop my feet up and rest.  Anxiety and worry will always be there, but the biggest thing I'm learning is to not let it control every aspect of my life.  I'd much rather get down on the floor, look into Nathan's big blue eyes, and see him smile back at me.  I'd rather be involved and invested in his life than constantly worry if I'm doing enough.  

There's so much that I've learned, and I know that this is just the beginning.  And if I can encourage anyone who might deal with anxiety and worries like I do, it would be to trust that everything will work out!  We can't add anything by living in fear or worry.  We won't have everything together.  We will have days where ugly mom tears are strewn across our faces and we will have days where all we do is smile over how amazing our babies are.  Motherhood will take any weakness you ever had and magnify it.  But I'm also learning that motherhood will also show you that you're much stronger than you ever thought you were.  

the evolution of this run

This thumbs up means that I accomplished a postpartum goal, which made me want to cry…for a couple reasons. 

1. I ran 3 miles without stopping. 

2. I didn't pee my pants. 

3. I felt great the entire time. 

4. This run and the route actually meant something. 

So why don't we back up a tad bit so that this all makes sense. 

I've never shared how we found out we were pregnant, and it is actually a slightly humorous story that ties into this whole run.  I had come home from work.  It was a Monday.  On this Monday the hubs had gone into work at 4am, so when I got home he was exhausted and already slightly passed out on the couch.  For some reason I just knew that I was pregnant, so I took a test and the line that appeared was so faint that he didn't believe me one bit.  We had gotten our hopes up before, had taken dozen of tests before, so we were prepared for a "negative".  But this was the first time I had ever even had the slight resemblance of a line so I got a bit excited.  Well the hubs did not, he was tired and cranky and thought that I was crazy. So I went on a run.  

Our neighborhood is pretty beautiful, and there is a nice three mile loop around that had become my regular route.  On the run all my mind could think about was that I might actually be pregnant.  Numbers were swirling around in my head.   I was trying to calculate what the due date might be,  I was picturing myself with a baby bump, and started imagining running this same route with a little babe in the near future. 

It turns out that I was right, as we confirmed I was pregnant the next day after we bought a digital test (it's worth the money, folks). 

Throughout my pregnant I was able to still run this route, it was the perfect distance and the hill towards the end could be my excuse to walk for a bit.  As I ran I thought about the life growing inside of me, and I loved that running was making sure he was nice and healthy.  There would be neighborhood kids playing at the park and all I thought about was how I couldn't wait to go to that same park and play with our son. 

Fast forward to yesterday when I ran the loop for the first time and all of those things I had dreamed of and sought after had come true.  I ran it wishing I was pregnant, when I was pregnant, and now with my little man.  He was my favorite running partner in womb and he's still pretty good at it now!  Life just catches you by surprise sometimes when I stop to actually think about where you've been, where you are now, and where you're going.  Now when I run, I think about how excited I'll be when he is older running alongside me or learning how to ride his bike.  

nathan james: 2 months

How can this little guy already be 2 months old?  I must say that I am loving this stage that he is in right now.  It is so beautiful to see him develop and grow.  Each day seems like he is doing something new, and as much as I wish he would slow down a bit I take hope knowing that his little body is doing what it is supposed to do. 

Growing// We had our two month appointment last Friday and he weighed in at a whopping 13 lbs. 7 oz.  He is almost doubled his birth weight!  Say what?!?!? This definitely made me a bit sad, but also explained why my arms get tired quickly.  His head is still amazingly large (definitely gets that from me) and his legs are shorter and adorable.  His head and neck are getting so strong, and he even rolled over this morning!  Mind you, he was on our bed and had a little help but he is definitely getting the hang of it which makes me want to cry just a bit. 

Eating & Sleeping// Nathan has no problem what so ever getting enough to eat and keeping it down.  He's definitely caused me some pain, and I've already had a few milk blisters and a clogged milk duct.  So. Not. Fun.  I'm just so thankful that he hasn't had any issues putting on weight or getting enough to eat.  Nathan loves to fight sleep during the day like it's an olympic event.  He eats right about every three hours.  And I've done by best to follow his schedule and let him lead, which he has done amazingly.  He usually eats at 7pm at night, falls asleep laughing at the lights projected on our ceiling, and then wakes up anywhere between 1-3am and again between 4-5am.  There have been two nights this past month where he has only woken up once, and I pray that it happens again the next night to no avail.  

Loving// Nathan loves smiling!  He wakes up smiling and has begun squealing, our little version of a laugh.  He also loves blowing bubbles, which is a new development.  At night we always do a baby massage with lavender oil and coconut oil which he is a big fan of.  Especially when I get to his feet.  I just rub his feet and sing "You Are My Sunshine" and he is in heaven.  I savor that moment every single night.  He also loves his bath time, especially when he decides to tinkle in the middle of it.  Nathan loves when daddy comes home from work and as soon as he hears his voice his eyes grow wide and he just smiles.  Swoon! 

Loathing// Nathan is not a fan of gas.  At all.  There was a solid week there when he would wake up around 5:30 in the morning with a bad case of the toots.  He'd toot, then cry, then toot, then cry.  Luckily we've gotten past that but he's still not a fan.  He also does not like tummy time that lasts more than a couple minutes.  Car rides are finally starting to become okay with him, but he definitely knows when the car has come to a stop and will let you know he disapproves.  I'd also add he doesn't like to stay asleep for more than 20-30 minutes at a time during the day.  

Oh, and shots…but who likes those???  There were tears, even by mama. 

march goals

Goals.  I have had a love hate relationship with goals.  On one hand they inspire you to be a better you, whether it is accomplishing something or putting another into practice.  On the other hand, they hold you accountable and also show you where you didn't measure up if you don't accomplish said goals.  So I think I have been hiding from goals recently for this fact.  And I've used excuses such as "Oh, well I'm going to have a baby then" or "I just had a baby and life just isn't the same" to not create goals of my own.  

Recently I've felt the need to see action in my life and so I can no longer hide behind my excuses…goals are coming.  But I've put a lot of thought into goals because I don't want to feel like a failure at the end of the month.  For this reason, goals need to be attainable and they also need to be measurable to some extent.  

March seems like the perfect time to start making monthly goals and I'm also okay with the fact that these may spill into next month as well.  March feels fresh and new to me, maybe it's because we finally got a good amount of rain in San Diego and now things are greener than they were before.   So I'm starting out small but hope to blog about my goals each month to keep me moving forward in this beautiful life!

1. Organize our closet.  Currently it is somewhat organized, but that doesn't mean I'm quite ready to show a picture yet.  The part that I absolutely can't stand is how messy it gets and our system that seemed to work at one point just isn't working now.  I'd love to walk into my closet and feel clean and fresh, but frustrated and disheveled. 

2. Give up Starbucks.  I love coffee, and I especially love going out to get coffee.  Fortunately, having a baby slows that down quite a bit, but I've still managed to find any opportunity to fit it in somewhere.  I also have this deep desire to spend less and give more lately, and I think that having self control in this area will show us financially where we have more money to give and be generous for the Lord. 

3. Run 3 times a week.  This goal has a number but I don't want to be completely strapped to it.  More than anything I want to start running again and feel good doing it.  Right now my gate feels a bit awkward and I'm not anywhere close to my pre-baby running pace, so I'd like to just start small.  It doesn't matter how long or how far, I just want to try and get out there at least three times a week.    

4. Have an intentional conversation with a friend once a week.  Being intentional means a lot to me!  So I want to set aside time, away from the babe, to focus on the people God has surrounded me with and pour into them. 

5. Read one book.  And it won't be on parenting, sleeping patterns, feedings, baby milestones… No, it will just be a book that I can get lost in, relax into, and spend some time with me. 

I can't wait to come back next month to tell you how I did!