Nathan's natural birth story

Well, we had a baby.  And because it was the biggest accomplishment of our lives, and the most emotional experience I have ever gone through, it is only necessary to write a very long blog post about it for all to read.  Nathan's birth is indescribable at some points, very emotional, and something I hope to never forget in my entire life.  It was beautiful, to say the least, and utterly happened by the grace of God.  God truly had his hand throughout our entire conception and pregnancy, so it is only natural that the Author of our lives continues to show up in our birthing time.   So grab a cup of joe and get comfy…

Monday we had our first non-stress test in the morning.  At this point I was 40 weeks 5 days, and we were pretty anxious to see what the doctor had to say.  My nurse noticed immediately that my fluid levels were low.  Low enough that she started prepping me mentally for induction.  They hooked me up to the monitors to measure Nathan's heartbeat, and even though it was within the average range, it still seemed low to me.  I willed my body to have a contraction as I was on the monitors to see how he responded to them, but we had no such luck.  My doctor decided to have me stay home all day, drink as much water as possible, and rest up.  I had another NST schedule Tuesday at 1:30pm, and if my levels were any lower than I would need to be induced.  So I rested all day long, and had a very strange feeling of peace about our situation.  I was mentally preparing myself for induction, even though we really wanted a natural birth.  Baby was most important! 

Monday night around 7pm I started to feel contractions!  They would come about every 25-30 minutes and were lasting, and I was pretty excited that I was finally having some contractions.  We were trying to not get too ahead of ourselves, and were still planning on going to the doctor's appointment the following day.  

Tuesday I woke up at 1:30am from the contractions, tried to toss for a bit and eventually got out of bed so Daniel could get some rest.  I started timing them, and they were about 6-7 minutes apart.  They were bearable, and I decided that now was the perfect time to take a shower and slowly start getting ready.  I was able to relax through the contractions, continued tracking them on my phone, and fell in love with the birth ball.  It because my best friend.  I called labor & delivery and they didn't want me to come in until contractions were 3 minutes apart.  By 8am they were anywhere from 3.5-5 minutes apart, and by 9am we decided that it was best to just go to the hospital given that my fluids were low.  We weren't sure how long labor was going to take.  Daniel prayed over us before we left, we grabbed our bags and headed out the door. 

We got checked in and I was 3cm dilated, and they measured my fluids.  They were much lower from the day before so they automatically admitted me versus making me walk around downstairs until I was at 4cm.  Enter my nurse: Nicole, aka My Sweet Guardian Angel.  She came in, introduced herself to us, and asked us our birth plan.  She was super supportive of a natural birth and using Hypno Birthing, and ended up coaching us through our labor.  I was on the monitors for 20 minutes every hour, and was given a saline lock vs. an IV (this allows them to insert an IV at any time).  For the first three hours, when I wasn't on the monitors we were walking around the hospital.  Nicole told me to walk through the contractions, and even sway a bit, to help the baby come down into my pelvis.  We didn't time the contractions, but they were getting stronger and I was able to breathe through them and relax into them like hypnobirthing taught me to.  But there was a point where I asked Daniel, "when is active labor going to kick in?" and I started feeling a bit frustrated. 

At 2:30pm I prayed that my water would break and that active labor would kick in.  My midwife came in to check me, I was 5cm dilated, 100% affaced, and my water broke!  Talk about an answer to prayers.  We were in active labor!  Contractions were now much stronger, and were coming every 2-3 minutes.  My hypnobirthing tracks were playing in the room the entire time, and this was a blessing.  It calmed everyone down, and my nurses even commented how relaxed they felt listening to them.  Through each pressure wave (contraction) I repeated "release, release, release" and would focus on my body relaxing through the pain instead of seizing up.  When I wasn't on the monitors, I was on the birth ball and even took a hot shower to get some relief between the pain.  

At 5pm, my midwife came in to check me again but I declined as I didn't want to be discouraged if I hadn't progressed enough.  The pressure waves were growing stronger, and I just kept breathing through the pain.  Daniel was amazing through the entire time.  When he wasn't rubbing my back, he was repeating "release" over and over to me, and supporting me through the entire time.  Throughout the entire time I was able to stay in my zone, and didn't even notice when people would come in and out of my room.  The pain and pressure were definitely starting to take their toll on me and I kept wondering how much longer this was going to be.  At 6pm, my midwife checked me and I was 7cm and by 7pm I was at 8pm.  This is where things got very intense. 

Mind you, there was no medication used at all during this time.  I could feel everything.  And transitional labor became my breaking point.  The contractions were so painful, the worst pain of my entire life, and all of the techniques I had been using to release through the pressure vanished quickly.  The contractions were coming so fast and so strong that I couldn't catch my breath, get a break, or feel a release.  I honestly did not know what to do with my body, and I found myself moaning to cope with the pain.  I hated being on the monitors as the bed was very uncomfortable at this point.  Sitting on the birth ball wasn't helping either, and the pain would not let up.  My mom would be putting warm washcloths on the back of my neck and Daniel would be pushing on my lower back very hard.  I found myself clenched over a trashcan and finally said, "Why did I do this?".  Why did I choose natural child birth?  I honestly didn't think I was going to make it through the pain because it was so strong.  

The pressure was getting more and more intense down there, and I was asking my nurses when it was going to be time to push.  They told me I would know when it was time, that it would feel like you needed to poop, and your body would tell you that it was time.  By this point I hit a wall.  The pain was still so intense, and I just didn't think I was going to make it through it.  So I decided to try a hot shower one more time to help things along.  This was at 8pm.  I got into the shower, moaning through the entire process and telling Daniel that I couldn't do this anymore.  He reassured me that I could, that I was almost there.  And then the hot water hit me, and the release that I had been dying for finally came.  The pain finally melted away, and my body finally got a break.  I could breathe and I remember looking right into Daniel's eyes and saying, "I'm back in control".  We even joked a bit and Daniel called me a water buffalo (inside pregnancy joke).  And then the pain and pressure were back and I didn't know what to do with my body.  I found myself on my hands and knees in the shower, moaning, begging myself not to push.  Honestly, I wanted to have that baby in that shower, and I kept wondering if it was time to push.  My shower ended up being 45 minutes long, but it felt like 15 to me.  We didn't know it at the time, but my nurse had come in three times ready for me to push, and let me finish in the shower instead. 

When we got out of the shower, I laid back onto the bed and then my body started shaking uncontrollably.  My nurses reassured me that these were "labor shakes" and to let my body shake.  I was in so much pain and now by body was shaking, and I had another break down as I asked the nurse if there was anything they could give me.  I was ready for some drug.  The nurse looked at me and told me it was time to push and the thought of any drugs vanished, it was time! And as much as I wanted to, I was extremely scared to push .  I grabbed the railing and said, "But I don't know how to push my baby out!" almost crying at this point.  They reassured me, and positioned me.  Daniel had one foot and my mom had the other.  As they counted to ten I held my breath and pushed as hard as I thought that I could.  It felt terrible and so uncomfortable.  I didn't feel like anything was happening and it just wasn't clicking for me.  They kept looking at the monitors to watch Nathan's heart beat, which was dropping but I didn't know it at the time.  Honestly, there was so much going on and I only could see Daniel, my mom, and my midwife through everything.  Finally someone said to push like I was doing a really hard sit up.  For some reason that clicked with me, and the head was far enough where I could feel it.  That was my saving grace, and I willed myself to push like my life depended on it.  I remember pushing so hard four more times and then all of a sudden, the most amazing and magical thing happened that still brings me to tears.  Nathan was out, he was placed on my chest, and all of the pain was gone.  All of the pain from the last 20 hours was gone, and my body felt this amazing release that is indescribable.  Nathan was here, on my chest, crying, and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  Nathan was born at 9:11pm, ("just in time for our tax break" Daniel jokes).   All in all, I pushed for 20 minutes.  

The emotion that overcame me was surreal.  Seeing our son here, so healthy and strong.  And I looked up into Daniel's eyes and we instantly felt complete.  My body instantly became pretty numb and I didn't feel much that was going on, which I am forever grateful for.  Nathan cried on my chest and I just kept talking to him and stared at him in awe of how absolutely perfect he was.  

There are parts of our delivery that I still don't remember because I was so focused on getting through the pain.  Daniel has filled me in on some details, and we keep talking about it in awe of how the body works and how God answers prayers.  Once Nathan was here I was immediately hit with this euphoric adrenaline and I couldn't believe that he was really here, that labor was really over, and that I really did it with no drugs. 

After giving birth I can honestly say that any woman, no matter how you deliver, deserves an award for what they go through.  Just carrying a child for 9 months and living in a manner that makes that baby grow so healthy is amazing and is to be praised.  Our natural birth was something we decided we wanted for us, and I can honestly say that I am so glad we chose that path and were able to see it through.  I loved the freedom to walk around, stand up, and be in the shower.   Nathan was so alert when he was born and he even latched on within the first hour.  We are able to look back and see so many blessings through our birth story because we chose the natural route.  

Daniel and I are so in love with Nathan.  More than I ever thought possible.  And I am more and more in love with Daniel.  He was my support system and partner through the entire process.  He never left my side, and looking into his eyes after our son was here is something I will never forget in my entire life.  There were specific points within our labor that Daniel would make sure the room was all to ourselves and he would pray over us, and he continued to be the spiritual leader for us.  There are no words to describe how amazing he was, is, and continues to be!

honest thoughts from an overdue pregnant gal

As of today I'm 5 days past my due date, and to be quite honest, I'm having a pretty hard time.  Pregnancy is all about waiting, so it comes as no surprise that we are still here waiting.  You wait for the right time to try to get pregnant only for God to show you that the "Right Time" is actually "His Time"- 10 months later.  You wait to tell people you're pregnant, even though it is killing you inside.  You wait to find out the gender, how many fingers and toes he/she has, if all of their organs are operating beautifully, for the nursery to be filled, and for the due date to come.  And here we are, waiting.  As much as I've tried to not become upset, it has been a challenge.  And I think that is a good thing.  I think that God wants us to wrestle with the things that are hard so that we can truly cherish and value the blessings that he gives us and give thanks with clear eyes.

Waiting and patience produces steadfastness, but in the midst of all of it, you realize the multitude of fears that are peaking behind the shadows.  Like the fact that your husband is already on paternity leave, and now it feels like a waste of time since the baby isn't here.  Or the fact that you've tried so very hard to prepare yourself for a natural birth and are now plagued with the fear that they will indeed induce you.  This will mean pitocin, which is the exact opposite of what we want for our birthing time.

But these fears are met by the fact that our baby is healthy and safe.  And a healthy-baby and healthy-mama are our ultimate "plans".  So in my sorrow, disappointment, fears, I'm reminded to take a step back and see what is really going on.  And what is really going on is the fact that we have a healthy baby just waiting for his right birthday to arrive.  We have time on our hands that we have never had before, which has allowed us to take advantage of so many things we've wanted to do.  This time will never come again, so I'm learning (as hard as it might be) to cherish this time and seek out God in every moment so that I can give Him thanks.

In our waiting time, I thought I'd share some things we have been up to…

I've crotched my little hart out and finally made Baby LaFuze THE cutest beanie to wear in the hospital (fingers crossed that it fits) 

The Mr. and I headed to a nearby lake so that he could fish and I finally finished One Thousand Gifts.  

 We finally ventured out to Cinepolis in Del Mar.  Oh.  My. Word.  I don't think I will ever be able to watch a movie in a regular theatre again! 

 I'm officially pretty tired of maternity clothes and have been needing to get creative with some outfits.  Luckily, this chambre top helped me feel a little bit better. 

 We bought the curtains I've been drooling over for the last month and now the nursery is complete. 

 I organized all of my shoes and put together a new shoe rack to take of the heaping pile that was in our closet. 

 Then we ventured down to Coronado last night to see the Del in all of its holiday glory before it gets taken down.  I longed to be ice skating, but settled for a picture in front of their beautiful tree instead :) 

And now we are running out of ideas, so if you have any suggestions for fun adventures in San Diego let us know!  

christmas festivities 2013

Merry Christmas!  I hope and pray that you and your family had one amazing Christmas this year, filled with so many blessings and joyful memories.  Christmas this year was a bit different as our festivities were spread out and took place before Christmas due to us having a baby due on Christmas day.  Well, that said baby is very comfortable and enjoying his time inside and is not quite ready to see the world.  Let me just say that I cannot wait until next year!  With everything we did, I just wanted our little guy to be here to join in with us.  I can't wait for his eyes to fill with wonder and amazement at how special this time of year is! 

Last Saturday we actually had Christmas with both families, the Mr's in the morning and mine in the evening.   Of course we had to add a rooster to our never ending collection of hideous roosters! 

At my parents house it was such a blessing to see how many stockings were on the mantel.  Baby LaFuze had a stocking as well as my niece that was born in April.  I love all of these little additions to our family and seeing how much it has grown over the years! 

Monday night we joined family that was in town from Colorado and went to Candy Cane Lane to partake in some holiday festivities.  At one point we lost Nana, ended up with an extra kid that wasn't ours, and sang along to Christmas carols at one house.  Needless to say, it was a grand time! 

On Christmas Eve we went to church for our candlelight service which was just beautiful.  Then we headed up to my in-laws to visit with family that was in town and laugh until our bellies hurt.  

Christmas Day was the most different it has ever been.  Traditionally we spend Christmas morning with my mom, wake up at her house, throw the cinnamon rolls in the oven and make coffee, and unwrap our presents.  This year she had to work (wah wah wahh…) and we decided to soak up the time that it was just the two of us, and stayed home.  I made THE most amazing cinnamon rolls from scratch, we exchanged stockings, watched Elf, sipped coffee, and stayed in our jammies till noon.  This year was all about thinking about what traditions we wanted for our family.  And I love that we are carrying over traditions we both had growing up.  I also loved seeing the Mr. helping me in the kitchen when it was time to ice the cinnamon rolls.  

San Diego was beyond gorgeous yesterday!  As much as I wished it was colder outside so that we could have a fire in the fireplace, I had to remind myself to count our blessings.  The weather was warm and beautiful so we enjoyed a nice 2.5 mile walk to the park near our house.  Operation "walk baby out" is in full force and we have daily been walking all around our neighborhood.  The park was filled with kids on their new bikes playing and riding around.  After my mom got off work, she came over and we made a big delicious Christmas meal.  At times it is difficult to see things change over the years, traditions that don't happen anymore, family that isn't around.  And I must admit that I did let this get the best of me earlier this week.  I felt like the grinch, moping about not knowing if we would be in the hospital for Christmas and not having very set plans to spend our Christmas.  And even though we celebrated this glorious day with family earlier on, it still didn't feel the same.  But the beauty in life is looking at the larger purpose.  The reason for Christmas, why we celebrate it, means far more than family and traditions and I love that we made new traditions and still were able to see so much family over this past week! 

10 dates before baby

We are in the single-digit countdown to Christmas and our due date.  So to soak in these moments with my amazing husband we created our "10 Dates Before Baby".  These are small things, and most of which we can do at home with no cost.  Marriage doesn't mean that the dating ends, and in fact, we have to be consciously aware to not get too comfortable and forget about dating one another.  We know that life will change drastically with the arrival of our baby, so spending as much time together just the two of us is important.  

I tried to find some fun activities that we already enjoy doing, and also added in some to soak in the holiday spirit.  Without further ado, here are our 10 dates:

1. Decorate Christmas cookies

2. Watch a Christmas move together and drink hot cocoa

3. Do a random act of kindness for one another

4. Have a lunch date

5. Go see the Christmas lights

6. Make a pancake breakfast

7. Take a long walk together

8. Get a gift for Minnie together

9. Go to the movies

10. Cheese and crackers while playing a board game 

Sunday night we kicked off our first date and decorated Christmas cookies, to which the husband told me he never did when he was a kid.  My mother in law soon corrected him, and I can't wait for us to do this next year with our little guy.  I'm pretty sure that more frosting went into Daniel's mouth than the cookies.  It was most definitely a very fun night with one another! 

38 weeks

Well, folks, I officially feel like a house.  This little boy has been growing nice and healthy inside of me.  And now wherever I go, everyone asks me when I'm due.  I'm pretty sure that the crazy waddle/limp I have going on is to blame, but it is definitely a change.  People no longer look at your eyes, they look at your belly.  And I wish that I had a hidden camera to take pictures of people's reactions when I tell them I'm due on Christmas day.  

This week things are feeling about the same.  My right hip is extremely painful, and I started going to the chiropractor 2-3 times a week.  My fingers are crossed that the chiropractor gets my pelvis lined up nicely so this baby drops and things start progressing.  I also got a prenatal massage last week, and wish that I could get one everyday.  It was pure bliss!  

I think we are finally feeling ready.  We had the car seat inspected and learned how to install it in our car.  If you're in the San Diego area, I highly recommend doing this with any of your car seats!  It is through Kohl's and Children's Hospital, and it was super informative and helpful.  I now feel prepared to strap our little guy into the car seat and drive home with him! It is a little surreal still walking up to my car and seeing a car seat in the back seat, but it also makes me smile like crazy. 

I'm sleeping great, and finally have been able to sleep in a bit.  Usually this would make me feel guilty, as I'm a morning person and think about all of the things I could've been doing instead of sleeping.  I know that this will be the only time I get for a very long time to sleep in and just relax, so I'm soaking up each moment of it.  I also think that the fact that I've been staying active throughout my pregnancy has helped with my sleeping as well.  

Each little twinge of pain makes me wonder if I'm having a contraction, and Daniel constantly asks how I'm feeling.  I'm praying for loving patience through the next two weeks, as we are now just in the waiting game!  

exercising past 34 weeks

I knew it was my last run.  The entire time I was in pain, and when I knew I couldn't take it any more I walked the rest of the way home.  And then I cried.  I was probably quite a sight to see.  I've been so blessed to be able to stay active throughout this pregnancy, but running is my go-to and not being able to has definitely been a challenge for me.  

Exercising after 34 weeks comes with its challenges.  My body doesn't move quite as nicely as it used to, my round ligaments are killing me, jumping is not an option due to bladder control, and I have to constantly remind myself that just doing a little bit is enough.  Fortunately, I've found some good workouts at the Blonde Ponytail that are perfect for your third trimester.   

At the gym I remember to watch my breathing, use lighter weights, and thank myself for each and every workout! 

 Walking is essential and I love that we have been able to go on some gorgeous hikes around our area.  Unfortunately, my right hip and glute are killing me and just walking now causes excruciation pain.  So I found a new exercise to get me through the end of the this pregnancy….swimming!  There is nothing better than being 38 weeks pregnant in a pool where you feel as light as a feather.  I started swimming this week, and am in love.  Here's my workout:

Warm-up: 4 laps across the pool at a light pace, walking the distance of the pool. 

4 laps of breaststroke 

8 laps of freestyle 

Repeat this 3-4 times with 30 seconds in-between each 4 laps.  

I always make sure to have my water bottle with me so that I can hydrate while swimming.  This is a great cardio workout and it works your whole body.  

Here are my essentials for exercising during the third trimester:

Speedo Women's Goggles 

Moving Comfort Juno Sports Bra

This is amazing for high impact workouts, and I've heard that it is great to nurse in as well.  This will definitely be used a lot after the baby comes! 

Old Navy Compression Top

I absolutely love this workout top!  It's not maternity but the loose bottom fits perfectly over the belly and I will be able to wear it postpartum.  The best part is how affordable it is!  I've gotten both of mine for $15 a pice on sale.  

This water bottle goes with me every where I go! Staying hydrated is absolutely essential. 

that funny little question

I'm officially on maternity leave, and officially realizing how horrible I have been at blogging!  And now that I'm on maternity leave, I keep getting the same question asked over and over again, "So do you just not know what to do with yourself?"  Every time this gets asked I just laugh.  If only that were the case, because to be quite honest…things have been crazy busy in the LaFuze household.  And I'm learning how to finally take a bit of a break, but it has been a journey. 

Last week at work was intense.  I wish being a teacher and going on maternity leave were two things that made sense together, but they don't.  Leaving your students for three months is a lot of work!  On top of that, I had parent-teacher conferences before and after school, leaving little to no downtime.  I basically had to tell myself that I wasn't pregnant so that I could get through the week, and solely focus on work.  Every time I thought about something that I had to do to get ready for baby, I would write it down for next week.  By the time Friday night came around, I was filled with such a mix of emotions.  You see, I've worked since the age of 10 with no breaks.  Not even in college.  So working is a large part of my identity.  Saying good-bye to that part of my life on Friday was very challenging for me, and the whole ride home I finally let it out and just cried.  I know that what awaits me is just going to be beyond amazing, but it was definitely challenging to finally wrap my mind around the fact that now I had to get ready to have a baby.  

Now everyone keeps asking me this silly question.  And the reason why I laugh is because I have so much to do!  Work consumed so much of me, that now is the time I can finally focus on preparing for our sweet baby boy to arrive.  This week alone I have gone to the chiropractor, a doctor's appointment, goodwill, put some final touches on the nursery, had our carseat installed and inspected, met up with a friend who I'm helping with a photo shoot, made dinner for my brother and sister in law, wrapped all of our Christmas gifts and shipped packages that need to go out.  Today is packed with more appointments.  So maternity leave hasn't been very restful and relaxing as I'd hoped it would be, but I know that after this week things will finally start slowing down.  (And hopefully someone will start coming soon.)  

Even though there has been so much business in our lives, I love seeing all of the beautiful moments we have had.  

Like Minnie snuggling on me whenever I sit on the couch...

Or having Lindsay over for a girl's night which involved eating way too much food and indulging in sugar cookies and hot cocoa...

Or braving the crowds for December Nights at Balboa Park...

Or finally feeling a little bit better after rearranging the gallery wall in the nursery…

(PS: In case you can't find your husband's leveler, remember that there is an app for that!!  It is so nifty and I used me phone to check that all of the frames were level!)

Or crossing off one more item off my to-do list and feeling so good about it...

35 weeks

I can start counting on one hand how much longer we have until our due date!  Seriously?!?!  

Things are starting to feel a bit "off" now.  I'm having some bad ligament pain all around my hips and pelvis and starting dedicating some time each night to do cat/cow on my hands and knees to help stretch it out.  I attempted a prenatal yoga video I found on YouTube last weekend.  Let's just say that the lady's voice coupled with the cheesy music made it difficult for me to take it seriously.  

Walking is my new workout, which is something I'm still coping with.  I'm going to give swimming laps a try this week, as long as I can find a bathing suit I can squeeze into.  

I think I had my first braxton hicks this week, there was definitely a balling up sensation in the front of my stomach that was a different sensation than the normal movements our squirmy baby makes.  My midwife said that if she were to hook me up to the monitor, I probably would be already having contractions that I'm just not feeling.  This definitely made things get real-real fast!  I keep thinking that we have until our due date, December 25th, but after I hit full term in a week and a half, anything can happen.  This makes me feel many things: excited/anxious/stressed/scared....  Right now I'm taking it one day at a time, trying to tackle each little task, and not get overwhelmed over the "lists" that I have everywhere.  

My midwife this week listened to his heartbeat and kept calling him and my pregnancy "perfect".  Every time I go to the doctor's, I just feel an instant feeling of peace, and my midwife is a true angel.  She felt around, and baby is head-down.  Now I'm praying that he stays that way!  She also said he's probably just about 6 pounds now, and will be about 7 lbs. when it's game time.  Little man-please don't get too much bigger than that :)

I haven't divulged a lot about our plans for delivery, and it deserves a complete post all to itself.  But, I would truly love to have a natural birth and we are preparing for such.  Right now we are half-way through our Hypnobabies home study and I love every part of it.  This approach has an incredible positive view on pregnancy and birth, and teaches you relaxation techniques through self-hypnosis.  I'm pretty much in love with it, and already have had so many fears and worries fade away as the thought about giving birth comes to mind.  More to come, I promise! 

I'm a bit emotional and get weepy over little things.  One of the most special moments we have been having over and over again is the baby's reaction to the Mr's voice.  The minute that he says his name, our little guy starts moving and squirming around.  Then, the Mr. proceeds to tell him a story or a random fact from our day, and he continues to wiggle around inside.  This definitely brings the tears on, so many tears!