5 self-care tips to love on yourself

The other day I was in a rotten mood, and really for no other reason than the fact that I was tired and felt it necessary to have a "woe is me" party.  Let's just say my husband is a man full of lots more grace than I ever imagined.  And the funny thing is that once you start thinking about all those things that aren't going right or you don't like, it snowballs into a giant mad mood.  I feel like a cartoon with a dark cloud over my head following me wherever I go.  

I thought about telling you all the things that went wrong, but then that would make that dark cloud come back and I finally got it to go away…

In the midst of this I found some things to do to help lift my mood and make me feel a bit better about myself.  That afternoon I strapped Nathan into the stroller and headed over to our local shopping center, ran some errands while there, and grabbed an iced coffee because that just naturally has a way of making me smile.  And these simple things made a big difference in my mood and outlook on the rest of the day.  

As a new mom, you're tired and feel a sense of exhaustion you never knew existed.  For me, I made a promise to myself that I would at least do my make-up because it instantly made me feel better (even if I felt like a zombie inside).  I thought I'd share five things you can do so quickly to lift your mood, make you feel a bit better about the bags that might be taking camp under your eyes, or just make you feel a bit productive.  

1. Get out of your jammies!  Even if you're putting workout clothes on, or stretchy pants and a top, do it.  You'll feel ready for the day by just changing your clothes. 

2. Brush your teeth.  Yes, this is a self-care item.  Let me just say that since having a baby it has been a bit easier for me to forget to brush my teeth in the morning.  Totally gross, I know….and that's why there's always a pack of gum in my purse! 

3. Do your make-up in 5 minutes.  It is totally possible, you'll feel gorgeous, and I even gave some tips here as a guest blogger for Art In The Find! 

4. Text a friend a reason why you love them so.  I'm a huge proponent of the golden rule and filling others up because it automatically fills me up inside.  Telling that friend something special about them and affirming who they are instantly makes you feel better and loved to have a friend so wonderful. 

5. Grab a cup of coffee.  If I had one wish it would be that all Starbucks were drive-thru!  That would just make life that much sweeter.  If you can swing through a drive-thru, walk to a local shop, or ask your husband to watch the kids for just a bit or grab you a cup, do it!  Sipping something hot (or cold) just instantly lifts me up!  

Happy Monday! 

transitioning back to work

This month seems to have knocked my feet out from under me.  It has felt like a whirlwind and I'm not quite sure why.  But a very big transition happened this month.  I went back to work!  Fortunately, I'm working part-time (or 60%) and teach three days a week.  I'm so grateful that I'm working part-time, but I have to daily remind myself that because it has been rough.   This post isn't very tidy because I'm still feeling new emotions and finding new ways to handle this new balancing act of life. 

Let's back track to my thoughts about going back to work, because what new mom really wants to return?!?  Growing up my parents always worked.  I got myself ready for school since I was in first grade, took myself to the bus stop or rode my bike to school, went to after-care until my parents were off or was pawned off to a neighbor or stayed home alone.  Nowadays this is entirely unheard of.  Any thoughts I had about being a mom included teaching.  And everyone thinks of teachers as having the "dream job" as a parent…you're done with school at 3pm, have summers off, and let's not forget about winter and spring break, shall we!  Before I was pregnant I started imagining what life would look like if I didn't work when I became a mom.  I thought surely I was too much of a busy-body to stay home with my baby.  And then I became pregnant and thought about how much I actually did work.  Yes, teachers have those amazing breaks, but they are very well deserved.  I'd get to work at 6:45am and not leave until 5pm, how was this conducive to family life?  

Nathan was born and my heart found a love it had never known before, and to say that I was smitten with this new life is a complete understatement.  The thought of leaving him for even a couple hours hurt.  I remember trying to convince the Mr. as to why I shouldn't return back to work.  I thought I had a sound argument, but in the back of my head I knew that it was a bit selfish of me as well.  So we talked about part-time, asked my school if it was an option, and it all fell into place beautifully. 

I feel like you need someone to be upfront with you about the emotions you are going to feel when you return.  Lindsay was that person for me.  I remember her telling me that you're going to feel guilty in so many ways and to let work go when you leave.  

She couldn't have been more right.  The first day I cried.  And the second day I cried.  And by the third day I didn't cry as much.  

But the crazy part was that the minute I was at work, my mind was instantly consumed with work and had no space to think of Nathan.  It was as if I returned to work and nothing had changed.  Luckily, I've learned how to balance it a bit more and remember I'm a mom amidst the hustle and bustle at work now.  I felt guilty because I wasn't thinking of Nathan (other than when I pumped) and then felt guilty because I didn't get to be there and know what he was doing every second of the day.  

I'm trying my hardest to continue breastfeeding while returning back to work which means pumping at work and leaving as soon as a I possibly can so that I can be home to feed Nathan.  The first day back Nathan screamed as I was on my way home because he was already hungry so Daniel had to give him a little bit of a bottle to hold him over.  I cried the entire way home thinking, "If I didn't work this wouldn't be happening" came home and continued crying over Nathan apologizing for not being there. Now that it has been two solid weeks back to work we are beginning to figure out the little things, like when to give Nathan a bottle and how much, what nights are hectic because we're packing a diaper bag for the caretaker that day, or measuring out milk the night before and washing bottles over and over again. 

Something that I kept thinking to myself was "If I didn't work I wouldn't be going through this".  I definitely wouldn't be going through the million emotions I've experienced, but that doesn't mean the easy road should be taken.  I'd been pouring into daily devotionals over maternity leave, and remembered reading over so many times when Jesus shows up and provides amongst the impossible.  I'd learned that God is there no matter what season of life you're in.  So why was I asking for the easy road when a trial came my way?!?  My thoughts had to change to accept this new life of balancing being a wife, mother, and teacher, not try to change it.  Obviously we are going to go through hard things.  But when we are, we need to pray and ask for guidance in them-not for a change of scenery.  

Wednesday nights I'm beyond exhausted and then I remember that I get to stay home the following day and just love on Nathan.  There's no diaper bag to pack, no bottles to set aside, no lunch to be made.  And those days home are good for my soul.  I keep thinking that I could never work full-time, but I'm fully aware that one day I might have to and that it will be okay, I'll get through it.  

This post isn't quite over.  I'm hoping to continue sharing this journey I'm on of balancing motherhood and working, because it's not tidy and it's always changing and we don't always see how people do it all when they work outside of the home.  So stay tuned…there could be a massive meltdown or a triumphant post coming soon! 

mama, smitten

You may have noticed a little change around here…well, I guess a lot changed.  Even the name!!  

In short, blogging had been on my mind a lot.  Especially while on maternity leave when I had a lot more time to think.  I start to become disenchanted with the blogging world.  There seemed to be so many blog posts that were about products, products, products.  Either companies were giving away products to bloggers, bloggers were creating products, or they were giving their recommendations.  And everything just kind of tasted bitter.  Like it was as if blogging had just become about who you knew, how big your blog was, and what you were giving away or getting for free from companies.  Where was the authenticity in that?

And then I started to wonder, "does anyone even read this blog?"  

And I know that this blog is small and sometimes stay pretty quiet at times, but it is my own little corner of the world to just share my thoughts.  It is therapeutic and beautiful all in one.  

So I thought about deleting this blog altogether for a while, thinking what's the point?

And then Nathan would do something adorable, and my mind would start thinking about things I wanted to share with others, and I realized that that's what my blog is about.  Sharing.  

So I changed the name because I wanted something a bit more personal.  Becoming a mama has truly changed me, always for the better.  It has made me see the world differently.  My outlook is through a new lens, and my identify has shifted.  And. I. Love. Every. Minute. Of. It.

Smitten.  Aren't you just smitten with that word?  Since becoming a mama I just feel smitten about life.  Even the hard things or those winter seasons we go through, I've reacted differently to and through them and at the end am still smitten with this wonderful life I've been given.  

So here on mama, smitten I can promise you that I'll share stories about motherhood, about Nathan, about marriage, about friendships, about food (because I just love it so), about what we're up to.  More importantly, I promise to be authentic and real. 

Welcome, friends! 

a dedication

Have you stopped and wondered how you ended up somewhere?  Looked around and realized that where you are now is better than you imagined?  I've found that this is sometimes hard to do in our busy, on-the-go lifestyles but it happened a few weeks ago during the most beautiful celebration that I will always remember.  We dedicated little Nathan to the Lord April 5th at our church.  And all of the planning, prepping, and organizing consumed me until the day of when I stopped for a moment and took it all in.  Today, I'm married to this amazing man and we have a baby and we are publicly stating to raise him to love God.  This.  This is what gets me.  

You see, I wasn't raised this way.  As a teenager you play MASH to dream about who you will marry, how many kids you'll have, what type of house you'll live in and what car you'll drive.  But what I didn't imagine was this life, this life that is so good. Of course I knew I wanted to marry Daniel since I was 16 and he would tease me in math class.  But the thought of how we would live our lives and how we would raise our children weren't in the forefront of my mind.  

And it wasn't until we were sitting at this beautiful dedication amongst so many other families that it hit me.  God brought me to this place and it is so much better than I would've ever imagined.  

We stood in front of our family and friends, declaring to love our baby with so much love and to commit ourselves as parents to raise him in our faith.  Something that I learned from one amazing mama is a short, quick way to share God's love with your child-even as an infant.  

God made you.

God loves you.

Jesus wants to be your friend.

Whenever Nathan is sucking on his delicious hands or staring at his toes I say, "Do you see your toes?  God made those toes and God made you.  God loves you and Jesus wants to be your friend."  And then I tear up and thank God for this precious baby, for this life he has gifted me, and for giving me more grace than I ever thought I'd need.  

she shares truth

Today I'm excited to finally take the leap, open up, and participate in She Shares Truth through She Reads Truth (which is one amazing place, ladies!).  

Joshua 1:8-9

Let me share something with you.  Finding out what your weaknesses are can be tough.  We don't always want to accept them or finally open up the blinds to see the truth.  I feel like sometimes I try to cover up that weakness of mine by placing more things on top of it that I feel I'm good at.  I'll throw myself into volunteering, baking for an event, making plans with friends, cleaning, just so that I don't have to remind myself of my faults.  

After reading the scripture for today I started doing just that because I knew this was my weakness and I wasn't prepared to face the hard battle of accepting it and receiving some mighty grace.  Meditating on God's word.  It is something that seems so simple, but yet is an area that I constantly fall in.  

As I new mom I quickly threw myself into reading any and every book to figure out what to do with this new baby of mine.  From What to Expect When You're Expecting to the Happiest Baby on the Block…I'd pour over them, eager to find the answers I was looking for.  How do I soothe my wailing baby?  Do they need to be swaddled?  Is it too early for him to be rolling over?  There are so many questions that roll around in your head as you venture into this brand new chapter of your life.  And these books hold all of the answers, so I dive on in. 

But can I say the same about God's Word.  When I'm hurt in a relationship, do I seek God's Word or do I go and seek advice from a friend?  When I'm faced with a hard decision, what do I look out to for help?  The bible is the answer.  It holds all of my answers.  And it is God's Word to me, His advice for me, and how he speaks to me. 

I love how God speaks to Joshua in this chapter, commanding him and giving him the land.  Commanding him to be strong and courageous.  He was commanded to believe, have faith, and press on knowing that God's providing him with everything he needs.  Do we believe that?  Do we have faith that God is going to meet our needs?  That He will give us the strength and courage that we need? I can easily say that my faith wavers in these hard circumstances, and I try to take the reigns away from God and control my path.  But, oh, doesn't that just hurt us so much more?  It is a daily reminder that I am worthy of this gracious love that takes away all fears and provides.  

So today I'm opening myself up to two promises:

God's Word is my answer, what I need to consume myself with

God will provide me with the strength and courage in the big and small, in the hard and easy bits of life

april goals

Setting goals for the month of March really set me in motion.  I'll admit that I was hesitant to be public with my goals, because if I didn't reach them I'd be held accountable.  There were goals I met, and others I didn't, and it all goes back to this daily process of giving myself grace.  Oh, thank goodness for that every flowing grace.  April-I'm ready for ya! 

Let's take a look at those March goals: 

1. Organize our closet.  I didn't get around to our master bedroom closet, but I did tackle our hall closet-which has been a labor of love.  We installed shelves and I feel like a whole new woman!  Having shelves to organize with is a big deal in our little space.  

2. Give up Starbucks.  There were two occasions I broke down, but for good reasons.  One was buying coffee for my mom, and the other was getting Starbucks on a family walk with the husband and baby this past Saturday.  I think these don't really count since they were for relationships, not just me wanting to sip some coffee all by myself.  

3. Run 3 times a week.  Each week I ran 3 times, and one of those runs included the Hot Chocolate 5k with my main man.  It felt good to get back out there, but it also brought about some crazy mental struggles with running, exercise, body image, etc. 

4. Have an intentional conversation with a friend once a week.  This happened a lot more than normal and I want to continue to work on this just in life.  

5. Read one book.  I started reading Bringing Up Bebe, and then realized I needed a novel I could just get lost in.  So I finally picked up The Fault in our Stars last Thursday and surprised myself by reading it in 4 days.  Let me forewarn you, you might need a box of tissues at the end.  

April Goals: 

1. Read one novel.  I enjoyed reading a great book so much that it needs to continue on! 

2. Write and mail out one letter a week to a friend.  I LOVE getting mail, and I also love writing little notes of encouragement to others.  So, I'm determined to encourage and bless those around me this month. 

3. Go through my clothes.  Instead of vowing to organize our whole closet, I've decided to start with one step and go through my clothes.  This is something I do at least twice a year, and looking at the same clothes hanging there over and over again that never get worn is finally getting to me. 

4. No clothes shopping.  I'm pretty controlled when it comes to finances, but lately I've noticed this desire to just spend for the heck of it.  So this month I'm going to work on not buying any clothes, shoes, or accessories and live with what I have.  

nathan james: 3 months

As I type this, I'm sitting on the floor while Nathan plays on his play mat, both hands shoved deep into his mouth, and he is just talking away.  And my heart is swelling up with joy.  Motherhood takes you into this crazy new world, where you would've never thought your heart could love this much before, and where your baby just grows up one day.  And that's where we are…Nathan continues to just grow and change so much, and each new day brings about more joy and love than I ever thought possible.  

Growing//  Nathan weighs a whopping 15lbs. 6oz…give or take a few.  I think I calculated that he gains a pound every two weeks.  Yeeks.  I was looking at pictures from when he was born, trying to remember the days when he was so little, and it just amazes me how much he has grown in a mere 12 weeks.  Nathan also decided to take after all of his grandpas and lost almost all of his hair this month!  He has a mini-brim with more hair in the back than on top.  But alas!  The hair is growing back.  It took a while to adjust to a bald baby after having one born with SO much hair, but I think he is adorable no matter how much hair he has on his head.  

Eating & Sleeping//  Well, Nathan basically loves to eat.  He nurses every three hours during the day, and takes a bottle like a champ.  This pushed aside a lot of fears as I returned to work this past week.  We have gotten into a nice rhythm at night, and Nathan falls asleep so much easier and quicker at night with the consistently of our nighttime routine.  Nights have been a.ma.zing and he was sleeping from 8pm to 4am.  Last week he decided to start waking up earlier, so now we are back to 1am and 4am feedings.  Sleeping during the day is a struggle, and he likes to cat nap instead of taking two nice long naps.  There are times he will sleep for a solid two hours, but that is with me holding him.  I'm learning to savor these moments and let the undone continue to stay undone while I hold this baby boy.  

Loving// Nathan is most definitely a morning person and loves waking up in the morning.  As soon as I look over him and say "good morning" he just smiles from ear to ear and starts talking away.  He loves smiling and squealing at you as I talk back to him.  He loves when mama sings "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "You Are My Sunshine" to him.  He loves when daddy comes home from work and blows razzes with him.  He loves bath time, especially now that he has figured out how to kick his legs and make quite the mess.  Nathan is now rolling over from his belly to his back.  He's still on the fence how he feels about this…I'm sure it's his protest of tummy time.  Drooling is also a new favorite of his, and he is now permanently in a bib! 

Loathing// There's a not a whole lot this happy baby of our doesn't like.  He's not a fan of being cradled and would much rather be upright so he can take in all of his surroundings.  Naps are something he is still coming around to, as he doesn't like to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time.  We also started using the Bumbo and activity seat this past week, both of which he is warming up to.