you know you're a parent of a newborn when...

Our little man is growing so quickly before our eyes and we can barely believe it.  The most incredible part of this journey through parenthood has been seeing Daniel and I change and come together as a team to raise and take care of Nathan.  Our conversations have shifted, our time is spent differently, and our lives have been somewhat turned upside down.  Life is most definitely different than it was a month ago, and we absolutely LOVE it!  

There have been some key moments when we realize we are, indeed, parents of a newborn.  Here are some of those moments:

-You high five your spouse and congratulate them on their amazing swaddle action.  Anytime Nathan's arms are still in the swaddle when he wakes up is an accomplishment. 

-Laundry is now done more frequently!  The loads are smaller and the items are smaller as well.  

-There are at least 6 soothies around the house, and when you need one you can't seem to find one anywhere.  Before we leave the house we double check with one another that we have at least two on hand.  

-After 10pm, the only talking involves "SSShhhhhh-ing" the baby or "your turn". 

-You think the person who invented the line on the Pampers diapers that turns blue when they are wet definitely deserves to be living very well for the rest of their life.

-Instagram and Facebook now get checked at 12am and 3am during feeding times. 

-Our evenings are spent staring at all of Nathan's sweet expressions. 

-Getting peed on is nothing compared to what happened the other night.  Right after Nathan's bath I had him all wrapped up in his towel, posed for a picture, and then the sound rang from "down under" signaling that you most definitely did NOT get peed on.  Needless to say, it was a huge "first" as parents and the most comical event to our evening.  We've learned to have a diaper ready immediately after he is taken out of his tub from now on! 

high five for friday

Happy Friday!

I decided it'd be fun to recap the fun and beautiful moments from our week.  Another week has gone by and our little man is already 2 weeks old!  Can someone tell him to stop growing, please?!?  He's already gained almost a full pound since birth and his newborn sleepers no longer fit him.  I'm pretty sure that I shed a tear trying to squeeze his little legs into them.  

Without further ado, here are my top 5 moments of the week….

1) Almost every morning we venture out on a walk as a family of three.  Well, the husband decided to bring along a basketball earlier this week and we ventured over to a park and "shot some hoops" while Nathan slept in his car seat.  There were a few other people at the park that morning, and I'm pretty sure they had a good laugh watching me attempt to make a basket.  I must say, though, that I did make it in at least 5 times.  But I will not tell you how many attempts were made to make that shot.  

This was the most wonderful way to start off our day.  Not only did we get out into the fresh air and get some exercise in, but Daniel and I had fun together.  Having fun together is essential to a happy marriage, and we are trying to make sure to still make "us" a priority even with a 2 week old.  

2) Nathan officially attended his first church service on Sunday!  He was amazing.  However, on the way there I definitely realized we had a baby!  Going to church would be much different than before.  Where would we sit?  Fortunately, Daniel was already thinking the same things and was prepared for me short-lived freak out moment.  We sat in the foyer, and Nathan slept like a champ.  I love that we are able to get out and about with him, it definitely helps both of us feel sane and complete. 

Another big accomplishment was how much Nathan slept that night.  Are you ready for this…6 hours straight!  I woke up before him and had a mini heart attack when I looked at the time and immediately peered over him to make sure he was still breathing.  Don't worry, he has already let us know this is not an everyday occurrence and quickly went back to his 3 hour feeding call.  Because he did sleep for so long, I impressed myself and put myself together in 10 minutes total.  I think the bun is now my "mom style"! 

3) On Wednesday, Daniel went fishing with his brothers and was gone all morning long.  It was the first morning that Nathan and I were by ourselves for that long and we were able to get out for a beautiful walk.  

Side note: it is ridiculously hot right now in San Diego and I'm pretty sure it was 80 degrees at 10am when we were walking.

We walked to Starbucks to treat ourselves for how well our morning was going to far, then ventured into the beautiful neighborhoods, and dropped off our Redbox movie before heading home.  I never was a big fan of walking, until I pushed Nathan in a stroller.  Now I will gladly walk anywhere! 

4. I have one amazing friend who has continually surprised me since Nathan's birth!  Over the last 17 days, Kylee has mailed me several cards filled with verses of encouragement and a prayer for me and Nathan.  And it never fails that they are so applicable to what I'm going through.  Whether it is rejoicing in motherhood and this gift God has given us, to not losing hope and leaning on God for strength (which came very handy after some rough nights with a very fussy baby).  On top of it all, we received the most adorable whale pillow in the mail.  

5) Our church family is amazing, and set up a meal train for us!  By the way, if you're on the fence about having a baby any time soon, just think about all of the scrumptious meals that your friends bring you with love.  This week we have been showered with love and many meals that are so good!  I'm definitely getting spoiled since I've only cooked once since Nathan was born.  

Our evenings are just spent cleaning up from dinner and watching Nathan surprise us with how much he is growing and changing daily.  He is getting so strong, and is lifting his head like none other.  Daniel and sat for a solid 5 minutes watching him lift his head, stare up at Daniel, and then give us a gas-induced smile.  This little boy of ours steals our hearts over and over again! 

reclaiming my identity

We all come with a story.  Our stories share where we have come from, they provide insight as to why we do things the way we do, and they form our identity.  Today I wanted to open my heart up to you today, and share something that is a bit hard on such a public format.  But after reading the below quote I realized that by keeping this to myself I can't help others that might be feeling the same way.  And the below quote by C.S. Lewis opened my eyes to the realization that this just might help one person or allow them to see God working in and through their lives.  

Our life group from church recently did an activity that I have done before when going to therapy.  You take chunks in your life (birth-5, 6-10, etc.) and identify some major things that happened to you, whether they were positive or negative.  This can help you identify any patterns that reoccur in your life or your actions or help you to see why you might be feeling a certain way.  After doing this exercise for a second time I realized how much power I give to my story, to things that have happened in my life, and allow them to define who I am instead of letting them go. 

In a nutshell here is my story…

My parents divorced when I was a baby, and my mom remarried when I was 7, giving me a step-brother and sister.  Throughout my whole childhood I was the "big sister", always the responsible one, and always feeling the duty to do the right thing.  I constantly struggled with making friends and keeping them, as I became the easy one to pick on in many groups of friends.  My step-dad was an alcoholic.  This became much more pronounced when I was a freshman in high school.  Not only did this put a huge strain on my parents' marriage, but it was also difficult for me as my brother and sister only lived with us on the weekends.  They didn't see all of his behaviors, how he would leave for hours on end and then stumble in at night.  They didn't know a lot of what was going on.  It became so bad that by the time I entered college he was in a car accident, after drinking, and finally went to rehab in order to keep his job.  Throughout this time, I was taking care of my siblings while my mom juggled work and school and her volunteer opportunities.  Our family was crumbling as we dealt with emotional struggles and a sibling that started hurting themselves to deal with the pain.  My dad showed love when he was drunk, not when he was sober.  And I continually had to be strong and keep things together.  When I transferred colleges and moved away my parents divorced, which was the best thing for my mom.  Unfortunately, my dad didn't want anything to do with me and I have continually struggled with his rejection.  

There is still a lot more details to this story, but this is how I have where I came from.  I came from a broken home.  I came from a family that struggled with alcoholism.  I came from a dad that rejected me.  I've been the victim, the strong one, the hurt one, the one that didn't deserve love. 

Well, after doing this activity for the second time I realized something..

I am a new creation.

This story does not have to define me any more.  

I have a new identity. 

The most amazingly beautiful part of our identity is that it is found in Christ. 

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away, behold the new has come"

2 Corinthians 5:17

Yes, I have a past.  Yes, this past is messy.  But Christ has overcome that past and today I don't have to allow that to have power or control over my life.  The rejection and hurt I have felt is something I don't have to allow to hurt me anymore.  

Today I can easily see how I'm a stronger woman because of my past.  But, more importantly, I can see that I am MUCH more than this story.  And for this reason, I am ready to reclaim my identify. 

No longer am I the rejected and unworthy daughter of an alcoholic, I am the WORTHY and LOVED daughter in Christ.

I am a wife to an amazing husband.

I am a mama to the most precious son. 

I am the daughter to the strongest woman I know. 

I am loved.  

I do have to tell you how our story has ended.  My mom has since remarried to the most loving, wise, humble, and gracious man.  Our family has grown over the years and we all have learned to love this new family, this new identify, this new life we all share together.