This was my view for the past 3 mornings.
Coffee...check. Laptop...check. Books...check. Piles of articles...check. Feeling like my head was going to explode...check.
We are t-minus one and a half months away from this girl getting her masters! After three years, you'd think they would except all of the hard work you put in and just hand over your degree. Wrong! So this past weekend I put on my brave face and conquered the comprehensive exams. Writing three mini-research papers in a short amount of time. All of the anticipation was here, and I was face to face with the final hurdle. As much as I thought I prepared for the exam, I definitely learned some things along the way....
1. Count each and every friend is a blessing. This past weekend I cried tears of joy watching baby Sophia move around in Lindsay's belly, seeing the miracle of life that will soon greet the world in just a few weeks. I've sipped tea across from a wise woman who fills my heart with joy. We had dinner brought to us, along with a bottle of wine, and laughed until our bellies ached. My text messages were flooded with words of encouragement and love. My heart is full.
2. Exercise is the best stress relief. I experienced horrible anxiety the first day, trying to wrap my head around what I was doing, getting my thoughts in order, and doing my best to not doubt myself. To clear that nasty head of mine I went to the gym, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, and I let it go. I surrendered. I told myself it would be okay. And the sweat washed that anxiety way, long gone.
3. Comparison is the thief of joy. This is a phrase I keep close to me at all times. But this time it caught me off guard as I found myself comparing me to myself. The me from college. How come it seemed to easy to stay focused on my work back then? Oh, right! I didn't have a job that required so much of my time, a house to care for, a husband to love on. As much as I wanted to tear down myself for not working as hard as I used to, I gave myself grace.
4. You CAN have too much coffee. I never thought I would say this, but it's true. You can. And you will experience either extreme exhaustion after the third day. Or your belly will turn, begging that you put something of more substance in it. And that cup of joe that you so dearly loved every morning will not look appetizing. Believe me!
5. Embrace your accomplishments. I hit the "send" button, expecting to feel different...lighter. But nothing was there. All day long I felt weird, off. I had just finished my last hurdle to getting my masters. I should be proud of myself. But I stuffed it inside, telling myself that there have been so many others that have done the same as me. What made me special? But the truth is that it is an accomplishment. I should be proud of myself. And with that, I took a breath and smiled. Daniel made me laugh, washing all of my worries and doubts away (as he magically does), and I felt proud that I had done it.
