mornings bring me back

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There is something so divinely beautiful about the mornings.  It's a fresh start, a new day.  Any mistakes that I have made, words I have said, regrets I have made, seem to disappear in the mercy of a new day.  The light draws in the awakening of God's beauty.  The warmth from my coffee mug warms my soul.  And I am filled with hope for this day-today.  It is a truly beautiful thing to be able to set your intentions, create space for your day, decide how it will go, and the mornings offer this space.

I know for some, mornings are hard and difficult.  The wretched alarm clock goes off and all we want to do is pull the covers up over our head and whisper a prayer that God would add more hours to our day so we could just get an extra hour of sleep.  When these feelings creep in, I truly have to push myself to block them and press on.  The other beautiful thing about mornings is that they are my time, and I have my routine.

Each day I always get ready for work, and then I make breakfast, sit at the counter and eat it in the company of myself and Jesus.  My bible is next to me, and I pour over God's word and allow His word to fill me up with sweet goodness, His mercy to wash me anew, and to lift up my worries.

This morning, I was immensely blessed through the perseverance of this little routine I have.  I'm currently reading through the She Read's Truth devotional and read 2 Timothy 1:7:
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control".  

This verse was already highlighted in my bible, which made me think back to when I read it before and highlighted it.  And I was quickly taken back to a time when I desperately needed this verse.  This verse was like my life saver on a quickly sinking ship.  It was what I clung to in hopes that I would be better.  A year ago, it seems like I was a completely different person.  Anxiety and depression and fear entrapped me.  I lived in fear.  What if I never get pregnant?  What if there is something wrong with me?  When if we never figure out how to live life and just be happy?  My fears were rational, but mostly irrational.  God's word was literally a lamp unto my feet, shining light on the hope that I would have a spirit of power one day-not fear.

I'm overcome with emotion when I look back on the time in my life when this verse was what I clung to, and that today I feel God's spirit of power and love, not of fear.  I can clearly see the ways in which God brought me out of living in fear and anxiety.  He placed amazing people in my life, surrounded me in love, and it has only allowed me to feel more secure in His amazing love.  Today I can easily see the truth in 2 Timothy, the truth that God will provide for me, He will bring us through hard times, He will capture our fears and set them free.  God's promises are worth so much more of my time than holding onto fears.  And I'm ever thankful and grateful for his amazing promise!