the evolution of this run

This thumbs up means that I accomplished a postpartum goal, which made me want to cry…for a couple reasons. 

1. I ran 3 miles without stopping. 

2. I didn't pee my pants. 

3. I felt great the entire time. 

4. This run and the route actually meant something. 

So why don't we back up a tad bit so that this all makes sense. 

I've never shared how we found out we were pregnant, and it is actually a slightly humorous story that ties into this whole run.  I had come home from work.  It was a Monday.  On this Monday the hubs had gone into work at 4am, so when I got home he was exhausted and already slightly passed out on the couch.  For some reason I just knew that I was pregnant, so I took a test and the line that appeared was so faint that he didn't believe me one bit.  We had gotten our hopes up before, had taken dozen of tests before, so we were prepared for a "negative".  But this was the first time I had ever even had the slight resemblance of a line so I got a bit excited.  Well the hubs did not, he was tired and cranky and thought that I was crazy. So I went on a run.  

Our neighborhood is pretty beautiful, and there is a nice three mile loop around that had become my regular route.  On the run all my mind could think about was that I might actually be pregnant.  Numbers were swirling around in my head.   I was trying to calculate what the due date might be,  I was picturing myself with a baby bump, and started imagining running this same route with a little babe in the near future. 

It turns out that I was right, as we confirmed I was pregnant the next day after we bought a digital test (it's worth the money, folks). 

Throughout my pregnant I was able to still run this route, it was the perfect distance and the hill towards the end could be my excuse to walk for a bit.  As I ran I thought about the life growing inside of me, and I loved that running was making sure he was nice and healthy.  There would be neighborhood kids playing at the park and all I thought about was how I couldn't wait to go to that same park and play with our son. 

Fast forward to yesterday when I ran the loop for the first time and all of those things I had dreamed of and sought after had come true.  I ran it wishing I was pregnant, when I was pregnant, and now with my little man.  He was my favorite running partner in womb and he's still pretty good at it now!  Life just catches you by surprise sometimes when I stop to actually think about where you've been, where you are now, and where you're going.  Now when I run, I think about how excited I'll be when he is older running alongside me or learning how to ride his bike.  

nathan james: 2 months

How can this little guy already be 2 months old?  I must say that I am loving this stage that he is in right now.  It is so beautiful to see him develop and grow.  Each day seems like he is doing something new, and as much as I wish he would slow down a bit I take hope knowing that his little body is doing what it is supposed to do. 

Growing// We had our two month appointment last Friday and he weighed in at a whopping 13 lbs. 7 oz.  He is almost doubled his birth weight!  Say what?!?!? This definitely made me a bit sad, but also explained why my arms get tired quickly.  His head is still amazingly large (definitely gets that from me) and his legs are shorter and adorable.  His head and neck are getting so strong, and he even rolled over this morning!  Mind you, he was on our bed and had a little help but he is definitely getting the hang of it which makes me want to cry just a bit. 

Eating & Sleeping// Nathan has no problem what so ever getting enough to eat and keeping it down.  He's definitely caused me some pain, and I've already had a few milk blisters and a clogged milk duct.  So. Not. Fun.  I'm just so thankful that he hasn't had any issues putting on weight or getting enough to eat.  Nathan loves to fight sleep during the day like it's an olympic event.  He eats right about every three hours.  And I've done by best to follow his schedule and let him lead, which he has done amazingly.  He usually eats at 7pm at night, falls asleep laughing at the lights projected on our ceiling, and then wakes up anywhere between 1-3am and again between 4-5am.  There have been two nights this past month where he has only woken up once, and I pray that it happens again the next night to no avail.  

Loving// Nathan loves smiling!  He wakes up smiling and has begun squealing, our little version of a laugh.  He also loves blowing bubbles, which is a new development.  At night we always do a baby massage with lavender oil and coconut oil which he is a big fan of.  Especially when I get to his feet.  I just rub his feet and sing "You Are My Sunshine" and he is in heaven.  I savor that moment every single night.  He also loves his bath time, especially when he decides to tinkle in the middle of it.  Nathan loves when daddy comes home from work and as soon as he hears his voice his eyes grow wide and he just smiles.  Swoon! 

Loathing// Nathan is not a fan of gas.  At all.  There was a solid week there when he would wake up around 5:30 in the morning with a bad case of the toots.  He'd toot, then cry, then toot, then cry.  Luckily we've gotten past that but he's still not a fan.  He also does not like tummy time that lasts more than a couple minutes.  Car rides are finally starting to become okay with him, but he definitely knows when the car has come to a stop and will let you know he disapproves.  I'd also add he doesn't like to stay asleep for more than 20-30 minutes at a time during the day.  

Oh, and shots…but who likes those???  There were tears, even by mama. 

march goals

Goals.  I have had a love hate relationship with goals.  On one hand they inspire you to be a better you, whether it is accomplishing something or putting another into practice.  On the other hand, they hold you accountable and also show you where you didn't measure up if you don't accomplish said goals.  So I think I have been hiding from goals recently for this fact.  And I've used excuses such as "Oh, well I'm going to have a baby then" or "I just had a baby and life just isn't the same" to not create goals of my own.  

Recently I've felt the need to see action in my life and so I can no longer hide behind my excuses…goals are coming.  But I've put a lot of thought into goals because I don't want to feel like a failure at the end of the month.  For this reason, goals need to be attainable and they also need to be measurable to some extent.  

March seems like the perfect time to start making monthly goals and I'm also okay with the fact that these may spill into next month as well.  March feels fresh and new to me, maybe it's because we finally got a good amount of rain in San Diego and now things are greener than they were before.   So I'm starting out small but hope to blog about my goals each month to keep me moving forward in this beautiful life!

1. Organize our closet.  Currently it is somewhat organized, but that doesn't mean I'm quite ready to show a picture yet.  The part that I absolutely can't stand is how messy it gets and our system that seemed to work at one point just isn't working now.  I'd love to walk into my closet and feel clean and fresh, but frustrated and disheveled. 

2. Give up Starbucks.  I love coffee, and I especially love going out to get coffee.  Fortunately, having a baby slows that down quite a bit, but I've still managed to find any opportunity to fit it in somewhere.  I also have this deep desire to spend less and give more lately, and I think that having self control in this area will show us financially where we have more money to give and be generous for the Lord. 

3. Run 3 times a week.  This goal has a number but I don't want to be completely strapped to it.  More than anything I want to start running again and feel good doing it.  Right now my gate feels a bit awkward and I'm not anywhere close to my pre-baby running pace, so I'd like to just start small.  It doesn't matter how long or how far, I just want to try and get out there at least three times a week.    

4. Have an intentional conversation with a friend once a week.  Being intentional means a lot to me!  So I want to set aside time, away from the babe, to focus on the people God has surrounded me with and pour into them. 

5. Read one book.  And it won't be on parenting, sleeping patterns, feedings, baby milestones… No, it will just be a book that I can get lost in, relax into, and spend some time with me. 

I can't wait to come back next month to tell you how I did!