it's ok

The past two months, my closet has looked like this...

And our bathroom is beginning to look like this...

And I've tried to say, "It's okay, it will be done soon, it doesn't matter that I can't find any of my clothes because it's all good."  But there comes a time when I just can't say it anymore. 

Let me back up just a bit.  A little over two months ago we noticed water damage in the walls of our master bedroom closet.  After several visits from various plumbers, contracts, inspectors (we basically were an open house) the conclusion was that the tub was leaking underneath itself and into the walls.  Fast forward a week later, and everything that was in our closet and bathroom had to be out.  We tried doing this in an organized fashion, but then we gave up and resorted to throwing everything onto our guest bedroom bed.  Our bedroom was turned into a scene from ET with plastic drapes sealing off the bathroom, men walked around in white jump suits, and huge fans blew for a week to soak up the walls.  Then the construction started, and then it didn't start, and then it started slowly...and after 5 agonizingly painful weeks, it is finally done!

Our guest bedroom looks like a bomb went off in it, I can't find my red jeans for the life of me, and there is dust everywhere.  This has been my life for the past two months.  Amidst comp exams, writing report cards, finishing my thesis, there has been chaos at home.  And somewhere along the road I became someone who couldn't function until the house was clean.  Well, I had to learn to function and learn how to keep parts of our condo clean that I could in order to feel some sort of balance.  

Whenever friends would come over I would preface their visit with, "we are still under construction and the place is a mess, but we love you so come on over."  My mom, oh my lovely mom, told me the other day, "They are coming over to see YOU, not your HOUSE".  And I feel like this needs to be something I memorize and say over and over again.  Because when people do come over I feel like our place has to be perfect, spotless, and I suddenly turn into Betty Homemaker.  Well, I feel like it's worth saying that this is an expectation I need to let go of.  There will be other trials that we go through that will cause our house to be total chaos again.  When we have kids I know that I will have to learn to live with the house in the state it is in, 

I can't control everything and the people that love me, really love me, will accept my messy house, my unwashed dishes, my stacks of clean folded laundry, and they will continue to love me because I'm not perfect.