While I was on spring break, Daniel and I went on a bike ride. And not just any bike ride, one that was 30 miles long, filled with tormenting hills-and it was a ride that I have refused to go on for that fact. But as we were riding, all I could think about was how far we have come in our marriage. And our marriage is closely related to how we ride together on our bikes. A lot of lessons that we have learned and grown through while riding together are the exact same lessons we have conquered in our marriage. Along the path of the past 4 or so years, we have grown stronger and work together better-but it hasn't been easy.
We are committed to our road bikes. Your feet as "clipped in" to your petals, and if you fall so does your bike. It took me such a long time to finally trust my bike, trust that it wouldn't let me fall, and trust myself to remember how to unclip when I needed to stop. This trust is similar in our marriage, I have learned to relinquish my desires and trust Daniels, to respect him as my husband, and know that he won't let us fall. And if we fall, we are both going to be able to get back up, dust off the bruises, and continue on.
Our very first ride was a doozy. I was scared the entire time about falling. Daniel would take the lead, and then I would try to take it, and then we were constantly racing each other the entire time only to leave each of us out of breath only half way through. Our church recently wrapped up a series on family and compared marriage to a dance. One person in the dance leads and the other follows with them. In our marriage, when we both try to lead, we pull and tug at one another...getting us no where. We are left out of breath, tried and exhausted. On this bike ride, Daniel said he found his "sweet spot". He rides just behind me on my left, so that he is closer to traffic (always looking out for me). We have created a system so that we are both working together, I follow his lead an at times he follows mine.
One ride in particular left me ready to pack up my helmet for good. We were coming across a freeway entrance, Daniel said something to me, but I panicked and didn't follow his lead. He went one way and I went another, and it was all I could do to pedal my little heart out to make it across the entrance. Now we know when to give each other enough time to communicate before making a move. We listen more attentively, and trust the other's advice. It is so surreal how much we have seen this in our marriage as well with our communication.
When we were engaged I remember thinking how easy marriage would be. And what I soon realized is that it takes work. There will be times when we are both desiring to take the lead, causing one another to fumble, and creating a constant pull-and-pull. Those moments, at times, have left us bitter at the other person, wishing that they would just change, to see our side and think exactly like us.
My heart feels beyond full when we have rides like our last one, when we are in our element, our "Sweet spot". The place where we feel safe, comfortable, and trusted. We have found our "sweet spot" and I'm sure we will have to find this spot many more times as we travel through more seasons in our marriage.
Oh, and I thought I'd show you a glimpse of how time has been on our side....9 years ago this was us....
This was such an encouraging post Jamie. I loved how you compared your journey through marriage to your journey bike riding together. All of those things that you've learned are so important that we take for granted everyday. Loved your honesty friend!
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