love languages {encouraged}

Something happened yesterday morning that will forever change me.  The husband and I went on a coffee date in the wee hours to an adorable coffee shop in Encinitas.  Our coffee date was pretty ordinary, no big news was shared, I didn't shout, "I'm pregnant", no plans of moving were discussed.  However, we did participate in something big and it had to do with this book:

So many people have read this book, quote it, and love it.  My husband and I were given in during our premarital counseling.  However, we had to read so many books that this book didn't receive the attention it needed.  Lately, I have wanted to be loved but feel as though D doesn't know how to show it to me.  Also, I want to show D how much he means to me but my intentions aren't always effective.  So I did what I do best, and found a book to help!

I don't want to give the whole book away to you because you MUST read this!  The purpose is meeting each other's deep emotional need to feel loved.  Dr. Chapman has laid out five love languages that each of us have: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  When we know how our spouse wants to be loved, then we can more efficiently fill up their "love tank".  

So yesterday's coffee date included two lattes and scrumptious treat and diving into what our love languages are.

Husband: Words of Affirmation & Physical Touch

Me: Acts of Service & Quality Time

The fun part was trying to guess what each other's love language was!  Once we knew what our love languages were it all felt so easy.  We went back through the book to find out how to show love to the other person.  It was like an "aha!!!" moment for us!  As I was reading ways in which to show someone love using words of affirmation, D kept shaking his head acknowledging how much that would mean to him.  Then, we talked about how we already show our love and what the other appreciates more.  Surprisingly, the husband thought mine was gifts.  As much as I love the gifts, his acts of service mean so much more to me.  Knowing that he is laying aside his desires to do something for me makes me swoon.  

We even created a list of what we can do for the other person and created "love challenges".  For the next month I have to write down my words of affirmation to D every day and challenge myself to not use the same ones.  It is such a blessing to see God's work in our lives.  So many marriages around us have been struggling or crumbling into divorce.  As we read this book it amazes me how truthful it is.  When we feel loved, we feel fulfilled.  However, if someone isn't loving us in our love language it is almost futile.  

One idea I found at this AMAZING website is The Hint Box.  You make a box and put strips of paper inside.  Whenever you feel like dropping a hint of what your husband could do for you, surprise you with, etc. you write it on a strip of paper.  Then, when he wants to surprise you he can get an idea from the box.  When I mentioned this to the husband he smiled so wide.  He hates guessing what to do for me, and this idea already gives him ideas that are nice and simple.  This will be a new addition to our home this week!  

After our cute little coffee date, we both felt overwhelmed with God's love for us.  That He put each of us in each other's lives, has answered our prayers along the way, and has shown us how to love one another unconditionally.  Our coffee date will forever remain with me as I think of how to show love to my husband.